


When I Was Yours

by nightshade002



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Demonic Possession, Demons, Final Haikyuu Quest, M/M, Murder, Possession, Royalty, Unhealthy Relationships, oikawachallenge2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshade002/pseuds/nightshade002
Summary: One kiss and Iwaizumi is all Oikawa's. His to do whatever he wants. No matter what.A second kiss and Iwaizumi forgets the whole thing. He goes back to normal.The problem, really, is having self control. Iwaizumi is happy to do anything Oikawa says, but when he's like that he doesn't feel much else. At the beginning.





	When I Was Yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlannaRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlannaRose/gifts).



> heyo welcome to the oikawa challenge this got out of hand but here's why i haven't been posting
> 
> i'm adding more to the notes at the end later because it's late and i'm tired but uh
> 
> enjoy
> 
> (also alanna this is for you for being my own personal cheerleader)
> 
> also thank you Erin for beta reading this

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whines, “come here.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes but follows the command. “Kohaku-san is so _annoying_.”

“Did you want me over here just so you can complain?”

“I hate him. Did you know he tried to speak over me during the meeting today? Can you believe his manners?”

Iwaizumi sighs. “You have to deal with people speaking over you. It’s just a part of life.”

Oikawa groans and leans back in his chair, lifting the front two legs off of the ground before letting it fall back to the ground. He leans out over his window to watch the sun setting. “I don’t care. I still don’t like it. And he doesn’t have to be so rude about it, you know? He could just wait until I’m finished. Obviously he doesn’t respect me or value my ideas.”

Iwaizumi hums and leans down to kiss along Oikawa’s jawline, receiving a pleased noise from Oikawa. “Maybe I could take your mind off of it?”

Oikawa turns to capture Iwaizumi’s lips in a kiss. “No, but you can do something about it.”

“Anything for you,” Iwaizumi answers and Oikawa watches as the color drains from his eyes to leave them a dull gray.

“That’s right,” Oikawa says warmly, running his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair. “You’re my good little Iwa-chan, aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi falls to one knee before Oikawa and bows his head. “You know I’ll do whatever you say.”

Oikawa smiles. “That’s right. And can you guess what I want this time?”

“You want me to kill Kohaku-san?” Iwaizumi guesses and even though his eyes aren’t nearly as vibrant or lively as usual, they still shine in anticipation. Oikawa nods. “In what manner?”

“Be quiet about it. I wouldn’t want you to get caught.” Iwaizumi nods and stands up to leave. “You can stay here for just a little while if you’d like.”

It’s his first time doing this. He’s possessed Iwaizumi just a little bit too soon. Iwaizumi comes to kneel next to him on the floor. Oikawa rests his hand on Iwaizumi’s head and plays with his hair. Iwaizumi actually presses up against his hand. He makes a small, surprised noise, but doesn’t move his hand away.

“Iwa-chan?”

“Yes?”

“When you’re… like this… do you still have feelings? Can you act on your own without my orders?” He hasn't ever let Iwaizumi do anything like this before while possessed. Usually, it is very cut and dry. Iwaizumi takes care of business for him and Oikawa lets go of the possession. There are no feelings from Iwaizumi. No extra movements. Only following Oikawa’s orders to the letter.

Iwaizumi nods and looks up at him. “I will do anything you say because I am completely devoted to you, but I can also act on my own and I do have thoughts and feelings. They usually center around you.”

“What do you think of?”

“How much I hate it when you don’t have control. How much I love it when you do. What I can do to best serve you. Things like that.”

“You’d really do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” Oikawa murmurs.

“Of course I would. I’d give my life for you.”

Oikawa smiles. “That’s my good Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi’s face doesn’t change, but Oikawa is fairly certain that he’s smiling as well. It’s good to know that when he’s like this, Iwaizumi loves serving Oikawa. “Now,” he says, voice darkening, “go kill Kohaku.”

Iwaizumi stands up to leave, but before he can Oikawa gives him one more order. “Make sure no one will find the body.”

“Of course,” Iwaizumi answers almost immediately.

Oikawa waits by the window, watching as the last rays of sunlight disappear and he feels his power start to weaken. He hasn’t bothered to light any candles in his room yet. It’s very likely that he’ll sleep as soon as Iwaizumi returns. Taking control of Iwaizumi has become more draining recently and he suspects it could be because of his new discovery tonight.

Iwaizumi comes back to him with a bruise on his cheek and blood on his hands.

“What did I say about getting caught?”

“I didn’t get caught,” Iwaizumi says quickly, quietly.

“And if someone had seen your hands?” Oikawa asks, standing up and walking slowly towards Iwaizumi, who’s standing still in the middle of the room. “What will happen in the morning? How will I explain the bruise?”

Iwaizumi’s eyes drop to the floor. “I didn’t get caught,” he repeated. “I hid the body. I wanted to get back to you.”

Oikawa shakes his head. He hopes this doesn’t become a problem. “Is that an excuse for doing a sloppy job?” he asks, bringing his hand to rest on Iwaizumi’s cheek and brushing his thumb over the bruise. Iwaizumi hisses when Oikawa presses down hard on the bruise.

“No, I’m sorry.”

Oikawa lets him go. “That’s what I thought. Go clean up.”

Iwaizumi nods and heads to the bathroom attached to Oikawa’s room. When he comes back out, his hands are clean again.

“Much better,” he says warmly. “Did you make sure to hide the body right?” Iwaizumi nods. Oikawa smiles. Runs his fingers once more through his hair. “Good,” he coos, leaning forward and kissing Iwaizumi. He watches the green fill back and push the gray away. Iwaizumi is only himself for a few seconds before he goes limp in Oikawa’s arms, unconscious. Oikawa carries Iwaizumi to his bed and makes sure he’s comfortable before climbing in beside him.

“I love you, Iwa-chan.”

\--

Iwaizumi wakes up in Oikawa’s bed with a terrible headache and a bruise on his face. His first instinct is to jump to the other side of the room. He and Oikawa can’t be seen like this. Oikawa isn’t in the bed, though, so he apparently has nothing to worry about. (He shouldn’t have worried. Oikawa is never in bed when he wakes up.)

Oikawa is deep in his closet when Iwaizumi finds him.

“What happened last night?” he asks, still mostly asleep. “Where did this bruise come from?”

Oikawa turns around, giving him a sympathetic smile. “You don’t remember? Makes sense, I guess. You were about to ‘take my mind off of it’ when you fell off the bed. You hit your face on the nightstand on the way down and passed out. You slept all the way through the night until this morning.”

Iwaizumi absentmindedly rubbed at his bruise. “Oh, I… I don’t remember any of that,” he says, smiling sheepishly. “I must have hit my head pretty hard.”

Oikawa nods. “I was worried for a bit, but you’re my strong Iwa-chan, so I knew you’d be ok.”

“‘M not your anything,” he grumbles, coming up behind Oikawa to wrap his arms loosely around him. He presses a kiss to the base of Oikawa’s neck before resting his head between his shoulder blades.

Iwaizumi feels Oikawa laugh against him. “Whatever you say, Hajime.”

“If anything, you’re mine, Tooru,” Iwaizumi says lowly. Oikawa tenses and he knows that if they weren’t in Oikawa’s closet, if they weren’t in danger of wrecking the clothes, if they were closer to a wall, Oikawa would have him pinned by the wrists, kissing up his neck, laying a claim. As it is, Oikawa can’t do that, but he does reach down to grab Iwaizumi’s wrists in one hand. His grip is tight, but Iwaizumi could break out of it if he wanted to.

“But you’re mine, too, right?”

Iwaizumi shudders from the tone of voice and his previous thoughts. “Of course.”

Oikawa’s grip relaxes and he rubs his thumb over Iwaizumi’s wrists and then turns around to kiss Iwaizumi on the corner of his mouth. “I love you.”

Iwaizumi smiles. “I love you too.”

He doesn’t mind Oikawa’s aversion to kissing him on the lips as much as he thought he would have when Oikawa first brought it up. It’s strange to him, but he’s willing to do this much for Oikawa, at least.

A brief thought flashes through his mind that he would be willing to do _absolutely anything_ for Oikawa. The thought is gone after less than a second, but it’s enough to get him to question where it came from and why. He’s willing to do a lot for Oikawa, but there are some things that Iwaizumi would never do for anyone.

“Hajime?” Oikawa asks, freeing him from his thoughts. He tilts Iwaizumi’s face up to face him. “What’re you thinking about?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I should go, though. I shouldn’t have stayed here for so long anyway.”

Oikawa’s face falls into a pout. “But-”

“We can’t have people finding out, can we?”

“They can’t do anything about us,” Oikawa responds, pout turning into a frown.

“I don’t want people thinking I got this position by sleeping with you.”

Oikawa sighs. “Fine, fine.” He kisses Iwaizumi’s forehead. “I’ll see you later, right?”

Iwaizumi nods, kissing Oikawa’s cheek. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

Oikawa smiles. “I can’t wait.”

\--

“Iwaizumi! Where have you been, we’ve been looking for you!” Hanamaki says as soon as he sees Iwaizumi. “We might have a problem.”

“What is it?”

“One of the visiting nobles has gone missing,” Matsukawa informs him. “We can’t find him anywhere.”

“Which one?”

“I think it was… Hayashi Kohaku,” Matsukawa says.

Iwaizumi’s heart drops. He feels like he might throw up. Oikawa wouldn’t have… 

“He hasn’t been seen since he retired to his room last night.”

No, of course Oikawa didn’t kill him. He was with Iwaizumi the whole night. Iwaizumi is a light sleeper, so there’s no way Oikawa got up without him knowing.

“Where have you looked?” he asks. He can’t think of this right now. He isn’t even sure that Kohaku has been killed.

“We’ve searched the entire floor he was staying on. He’s not there.”

Iwaizumi sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “How many people do you have looking?”

 

Hanamaki grimaces. “Not many. Ten or fifteen. The other nobles here all want a personal guard provided by us in addition to their own. At least they haven’t blamed us for this. Yet.”

“Half of them will go up and half of them will go down. Search every floor, _everywhere_. I want him found as soon as possible. Does the king know about this yet?”

“We haven’t told him. We figured you would want to be the one to tell him,” Matsukawa answers.

Iwaizumi gives him a half smile. “You just don’t want to be the bearers of bad news.”

Matsukawa shrugs. “We all know he’ll reign in his anger around you. Why not take advantage of it?”

Iwaizumi laughs at that. He’s not wrong. Oikawa would go easier on him than on Hanamaki or Matsukawa. He isn’t sure this time, though, if he’ll be able to tell Oikawa what happened without sounding like he’s accusing him of something. “Alright, I’ll do it, but I want at least two more floors swept before I talk to him. Why bother him with something like this if it ends up being nothing, right?”

The three of them separate, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa going up and Hanamaki going down, letting the rest of their small search party know what is going on.

“What’s that bruise from?” Matsukawa asks. Iwaizumi’s hand subconsciously moves up to his face.

“I… I fell,” he answers, even though he doesn’t actually remember what happened. “It’s nothing, it’ll be fine soon.”

“You’re sure that’s what it’s from?”

“What are you implying?”

“You disappeared last night and I know you were with the king. Did he-”

“He would never,” Iwaizumi replies instantly. “He can have a bit of a temper, but he wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You know you can tell me if-”

“Matsukawa,” Iwaizumi growls, turning to him with a glare. “Be careful with your words.”

Matsukawa sighs. “I’ll drop it, but I’m here if you need me. Even if it’s not for this.”

They’ve only searched a few floors by the time Hanamaki runs up to them, breathless and panting and pale.

“We found him. You’re going to want to see this.”

Iwaizumi follows Hanamaki down the stairs, all the way to the dungeon, and then all the way to the end of it. There isn’t anyone in the dungeon at the moment and there haven’t been people in the farthest cells for as long as Iwaizumi can remember and then some. He isn’t even sure how they found Kohaku all the way down here, honestly. He would never have thought to look in the dungeon. They round the final corner and Iwaizumi stops in his tracks. He thinks he might throw up.

“You’re sure this is him?” Iwaizumi asks quietly, trying not to look at the grotesque body in front of him. 

Kohaku’s tongue is laying a short distance away from the rest of his body, one of his hands has been cut off, his throat has been slit. The worst part, maybe, is his face. It’s so cut up that he’s barely recognizable. The rest of Kohaku’s body is a strong contender, though. There’s blood everywhere. _Everywhere_.

He’s a little bit more certain he’ll throw up.

“We’re sure,” Hanamaki says, not bothering to hide the fact that he’s looking away from the body. “We found something of his in his pocket.”

Iwaizumi sighs and runs his palm down his face. “I’ll tell the king. Just… just... get rid of the body.”

Hanamaki grimaces. “Good luck.”

Iwaizumi has no idea how he’s going to tell Oikawa about this. He knows that Oikawa was irritated, but there’s no way that he would have had _this_ done. He’s pacing in his room. He hasn’t been able to figure out how to tell him. His hands are shaking.

Iwaizumi knows that he shouldn’t be this nervous about it all. He doesn’t know where all of this nervous energy is coming from. He takes a deep breath. He’ll have to do it at some point and Oikawa will know something is wrong if he doesn’t show up soon.

The walk down the hall to Oikawa’s room feels like it takes forever. He doesn’t bother knocking on the door first, just opens it.

“Iwaizumi, what a surprise,” Oikawa says, prompting him to notice the other man with Oikawa. “I’d like you to meet King Kuroo Tetsurou.”

Iwaizumi bows to him. “It’s my pleasure. My lord, I have some news.”

“Oh?” Oikawa asks, raising his eyebrows. Iwaizumi glances over to Kuroo, making it clear to Oikawa that he isn’t sure his words are meant for him. “What news?”

Iwaizumi blinks and his eyes stay closed just a second too long. “A visiting noble, Hayashi Kohaku, disappeared this morning.”

“Have you been able to find him?” Oikawa asks, concerned. Iwaizumi nearly breathes a sigh of relief. He shouldn’t have been worried for a second that Oikawa was in any way responsible. It would have been a bad move politically in the first place.

“We… we have.”

Oikawa’s eyes narrowed, only for a second, before his expression goes back to what it was before. “Where?”

“In the dungeon. The farthest cell. He was… he was dead.”

“Just dead?” Oikawa asks and _of course_ he has to ask.

“Whoever did it made sure he suffered, I can tell you that. I would rather not go into the details.”

Oikawa nods and dismisses Iwaizumi. He closes the door almost in surprise. That went much better than he had expected. He isn’t sure what to think.

\--

“He doesn’t suspect anything?” Kuroo asks. 

Oikawa smiles. “Not a thing. He doesn’t remember anything he does while he’s under my control.”

“Did you want Kohaku found?”

Oikawa’s smile falls from his face. “I have run into a sort of snag, but I’m sure it won’t be a problem in the future. The messiness of the kill is due to this snag as well.”

“Is the bruise on his face from the snag as well or is it from you?”

“I would never hurt him myself,” Oikawa says, voice dropping low and threatening. “It’s his own fault if he gets hurt from being sloppy.”

\--

Oikawa is sitting in his chair by the window when Iwaizumi arrives that night. He hasn’t been waiting for long, but he can’t wait to test something tonight.

Iwaizumi walks in without a word, without knocking. Oikawa prefers it this way. Iwaizumi is always welcome in his room. 

As expected, Iwaizumi crosses the room to stand at his side. He leans down to kiss the side of Oikawa’s neck and Oikawa leans his head to the side to let him. 

“We should go to bed,” Iwaizumi murmurs into his ear.

“So soon?”

Iwaizumi sighs. “It's been a long day and I'm tired. I just want to sleep.”

Oikawa hums and turns towards Iwaizumi. “I’ll join you in a few minutes, alright?” he says softly. Iwaizumi closes his eyes and nods and Oikawa sees just how tired Iwaizumi really is. “You look exhausted.”

“All the more reason for you to come to bed soon.”

“I’ll be right there, then. Just as soon as the sun sets, alright?”

Iwaizumi nods again before practically collapsing onto the bed. Oikawa stretches out and sheds most of his clothes, enjoying the last rays of sunlight on his skin. He sighs and makes his way over to the bed. Iwaizumi isn’t completely asleep, but he’s nearly there and Oikawa almost feels bad for what he’s about to do. Almost. Not enough to not do it.

“That tired, huh?”

One of Iwaizumi’s eyes opens just barely enough for him to see. “Come to bed,” he mumbles, but it barely sounds understandable. Oikawa’s had enough practice with a sleepy Iwaizumi to know what he means, though.

“I am, I am,” he replies, slipping under the covers with Iwaizumi. He kisses Iwaizumi on the forehead. “Sleep well.”

Iwaizumi smiles and closes his eye again. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” Oikawa says and kisses him on the lips. 

Iwaizumi’s eyes flutter for a few seconds before opening again, irises gray and dull. “What did I ask of you last night?” he asks.

“You asked me to kill Kohaku-san.”

“And?”

“To not get caught and to make sure no one would find the body.”

“Tell me,” Oikawa hums, pushing Iwaizumi over so he’s laying on his back, “can you see what happens all day when I don’t have control?”

“I can.”

“And what happened?” Oikawa moves to hover over Iwaizumi, voice going dark and cold. “What did you allow to happen?”

“They… they found the body,” Iwaizumi answers quietly. “But I-”

“They found the body,” Oikawa repeats, cutting off Iwaizumi's attempt at a response. Iwaizumi stops trying to justify his actions. “You told me you did it right. Did you lie?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “I didn't think anyone would find him there. I didn't think it would happen so soon at least.”

“So you knew he would be found and yet you put him there anyway?” Oikawa narrows his eyes. 

“We don't use the dungeons. I didn't think anyone would look there.”

“Maybe I should have you stay in the dungeons as a punishment,” he suggests. He doesn't intend to go through with it. People would see and he does intend to let Iwaizumi get sleep tonight.

“Please don't, I want to be with you,” Iwaizumi responds. Oikawa raises an eyebrow. That wasn't the response he was expecting, but he can still work with it. 

“Isn't that the problem? You wanted to be with me so badly that you did a shitty job last night.”

“I'll do better next time. I promise.”

Iwaizumi looks desperate now and Oikawa will have to write this down. He's learning a lot.

“Why should I think you will?” Oikawa tests. 

“I would do anything for you,” Iwaizumi answers almost immediately

Oikawa smiles. “That's right,” he says, laying his hand on Iwaizumi's cheek. “I hope you don't forget that. I might not forgive another mistake.”

“You won't have to. I won't mess up again.”

“That's my good Iwa-chan,” Oikawa practically purrs. Iwaizumi’s eyes flutter shut as he leans closer and by the time Oikawa kisses him, he’s exhaling and sinking into the bed. Oikawa lays down next to him, pulling the covers over them both and settling in against Iwaizumi.

\--

Oikawa is still sleeping when Iwaizumi wakes up. He’s not as panicked this morning. He actually remembers falling asleep in Oikawa’s room last night, so it’s not so much of a shock to wake up in Oikawa’s bed. It’s weird that he doesn’t remember deciding to sleep with Oikawa the night before, but it must just be because he hit his head.

His headache from before is completely gone.

“Tooru,” he whispers, propping himself up on one arm so he can smile down at Oikawa, “you should get up.”

Oikawa wrinkles his nose and shakes his head.

“Come on,” Iwaizumi laughs, “how are you going to get in your daily hour of basking in the sun and looking beautiful?”

Oikawa opens one eye to glare at Iwaizumi. “I do not _bask_ in the sun.”

“You kind of do,” he replies, unable to keep the smile off of his face.

“Not really,” Oikawa groans and rolls over. Iwaizumi repositions himself so he’s hovering over Oikawa.

“Sure you do. How else would you describe it?”

Oikawa rolls again so he’s laying on his back. “You’re awfully lively this morning,” he comments.

“I’m just in a good mood. I slept really well last night. I don’t think I woke up at all after you got in bed.”

Oikawa smiles up at him softly. “That’s good. You were really tired last night.”

“I was,” he agrees, pressing his face against Oikawa’s chest. “Yesterday was… yesterday was terrible.”

“Yeah,” Oikawa says, running his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair. “Definitely a lot of… unexpected things happened yesterday.”

“I probably can’t stay again tonight.”

“I know.”

“I want to.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to get up.”

Oikawa laughs. “I know Iwa-chan.”

“We still need to, though,” he grumbles.

“Of course. What would I do without my daily bask in the sun?”

Iwaizumi smiles at Oikawa’s teasing tone. Of course they both know it was so that Oikawa won’t run low on energy. It’s why he always watches the sun go down too. He wants to soak up every bit of power that he can and Iwaizumi doesn’t blame him for that. He’s seen Oikawa low on energy before and it wasn’t pretty.

Sunlight makes him stronger, but it also makes the demon residing inside of him stronger as well. It is tricky, apparently, to keep an acceptable balance, one where Oikawa can still be in control.

All of the royals over 16 and some of the nobles have demons inside of them and Iwaizumi _hates_ it. Some of the commoners think it’s fitting but, while Iwaizumi agrees that some royals act like demons anyway, he can’t stand it. He had to stand by Oikawa’s side when he turned 16 and went through the whole ceremony of getting possessed.

It’s supposed to be an honor.

It started simply with one king wanting more power than the others. Iwaizumi isn’t sure which country it started in. The king of whichever country didn’t want to get hurt in the process - no one had ever tried voluntary possession before - so he had his first born son do it first. The son somehow lived through it, even felt perfectly fine afterwards. So the king tried it on his second son. He too lived through it, only he wasn’t quite so stable in the hours after. The demon had taken over completely. The king didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t let word of his failure get out to his people, so he had his best knight kill his son. A neighboring country learned of the success of the first son and so a tradition was born. The king warned all of his allies, however, of the risks.

The story of the first son is common knowledge. Anyone who knows anything knows of this story. The story of the second son is told differently to the public. The second son died tragically while being possessed and the knight bravely fought with the demon to avenge him. Iwaizumi only knows the true story because after the king warned his allies, he started assigning a knight to each child he had possessed and the other kings followed suit. Iwaizumi is Oikawa’s knight. If Oikawa ever loses control it’s his job to kill him.

So he hates the possessions.

“Come on, Iwa-chan, get off of me,” Oikawa groans, shoving at him. He’s perfectly capable of moving Iwaizumi on his own, but he likes to put on a helpless act. He does it often in public so that people underestimate him and he can surprise them with his true strength.

Iwaizumi smiles and pushes himself up, hovering over Oikawa for just long enough to kiss his nose before rolling off of him.

“Hey,” Oikawa whispers, turning to Iwaizumi, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Iwaizumi whispers back. He lets them both enjoy the moment before roughly shoving Oikawa off the bed.

“I take it back!” Oikawa cries, and Iwaizumi can barely hear him over the sound of his own laughter. “You’re the worst! The absolute worst!”

\--

“Have you come up with a solution to the problem you had the last time I visited?” Kuroo asks once they’re left alone. Oikawa almost feels like he’s far too interested in Iwaizumi. Nevertheless, he nods.

“Just a bit of stress relief for him. Nothing much. You might get to see the results of one of his… sessions during your visit here.”

“Oh?”

Oikawa moves to his window. He can see Iwaizumi sparring with the other soldiers in the yard below. “It’s nearly time for another one.” Kuroo joins him at the window. “See how he’s taking on multiple at once? He doesn’t often do that and even when he does he’s not nearly as reckless as he is now.”

“Isn’t he typically reckless while fighting? I’ve heard stories-”

“He is,” Oikawa cuts him off bitterly. He’s told Iwaizumi time and time again that just because he can’t get scars doesn’t necessarily make him invincible. Iwaizumi can still feel pain and die as far as Oikawa knows. “That’s why he needs this.”

“You know I’m interested in the theory of this,” Kuroo starts, “but are you sure you want to experiment with him? Don’t you-”

“Once you find a way to do it to anyone else,” Oikawa says, dangerously quiet, “let me know and I’ll consider it. Otherwise consider yourself lucky that you know about this at all.”

Kuroo nods. “I understand. I am more than happy to just continue observing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

\--

Iwaizumi loves Oikawa, he really does. What he doesn’t love is how he has to hide it. He especially doesn’t love how he constantly has to prove himself to everyone just to show that he hasn’t gotten his position due to favoritism.

Oikawa seems to love watching him prove himself though with how often he volunteers Iwaizumi for duels.

“You know I _do_ have better things to do than participate in pointless duels, right?”

Oikawa smiles. “Of course I do. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put everyone in their place. Besides, if people think you’re inexperienced because you have no scars, that’s on them.”

Iwaizumi finishes buckling his armor on and sighs. He enjoys sparring and dueling, sure, but he can’t stand the fact that most of his duels are because most people look at him, see the lack of scars and equate that to inexperience. Oikawa quickly scans the room they’re in before grabbing Iwaizumi’s sword hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it softly.

“Win for me, won’t you?”

Iwaizumi smiles, doing his best to hide how flustered he’s become. Oikawa does this every time and every time it takes him off guard. “You know I will.”

They exit out of two different doors. Iwaizumi out the main door and Oikawa out the secret door. No one else - that they know of - knows of the door, so it’s perfect for them. They don’t try quite so hard as Iwaizumi would like to keep their relationship a secret, but they’re not going to broadcast it as much as Oikawa would like. They’ve come to a sort of compromise that neither can really complain about. Well, they could, but they don’t. 

Walking out into the dueling arena, he feels a little bad that he can’t remember his challenger’s name. Then he thinks about how Oikawa almost definitely doesn’t remember his name either and he feels a little bit better about it.

“You know,” his challenger starts, “there’s still time for you to back out. We both know how this will end.”

Iwaizumi shrugs, not bothering to respond in any other way. The other man is taller than him and a bit broader too. That doesn’t mean anything, though. Iwaizumi’ll win, just like he always does.

Now that he’s thinking about it, if he’s being truly honest with himself, he doesn’t mind the duels themselves at all. Not with the rewards he reaps for winning. Spending a night alone with Oikawa practically worshipping him and showering him with praise will never be something he complains about.

“I hope you’re as good as you say you are,” Iwaizumi says because he’s feeling a little bit cocky, “for your sake.”

“Bold words for a man with no real battle experience.”

Iwaizumi does have one scar. It’s nothing big and it’s barely noticeable. Just a tiny little mark under his left eye from when he and Oikawa were around seven. They’d been racing around the castle and Oikawa pushed him and he happened to fall down a flight of stairs. Scared Oikawa so bad that he had put some sort of protection spell on him. Iwaizumi doesn’t remember most of the details, but he knows it’s why he doesn’t scar no matter how bad the injury. As much as it’s irritating that people think he’s inexperienced because of this, he really doesn’t mind the benefit of being able to be as reckless as he’d like during battles. Oikawa always argues that that’s not the point and he should still be careful.

The duel starts and Iwaizumi is forced to focus on that. He doesn’t waste any time in charging forward to attack. It probably looks reckless and ill thought out, but if there’s one thing he’s learned from Oikawa, it’s how to take advantage of other people underestimating him.

His attack is easily blocked because of how projected it was. Doesn’t matter much to him, he’s just getting started. His sword is technically supposed to be wielded using both hands, but he’s built up enough strength that he can use it with either hand. The other man doesn’t notice Iwaizumi’s left hand slipping off the hilt of his sword and grabbing a knife. 

He’s quick with his cuts, getting as many in as he can before the other man backs away, claiming that Iwaizumi is cheating. Oikawa smiles at him from the viewing area he’s officiating from.

“The conditions you specified were that each of you could use whichever weapons you want. That rule has not been violated.”

Iwaizumi smiles smugly. “Are we going to continue or are you going to accuse me of something else so that you can actually win?”

 

“Just because you’re the king’s _pet_ doesn’t mean you’re actually good,” the other man growls, low enough that only Iwaizumi can hear him. The smile drops off of Iwaizumi’s face and he narrows his eyes. “What, you don’t like being told the truth?”

Iwaizumi had been planning on going easy on this guy, really he had. He was even going to heal his wounds with the little bit of magic that he knows. Now he’s pissed. Yes, he’s loyal to Oikawa, but he is still his own person.

He attacks with no holds barred.

The other man can barely keep up with his flurry of attacks. He doesn’t bother with the knife anymore, focusing more on larger attacks.

By the time Iwaizumi is declared the winner, he’s sweating and panting, but he doesn’t have a scratch on him. The other man can’t even stand up.

He gets through all of the formalities necessary after winning the duel. Most of it is pretty useless in his opinion, but Oikawa says it’s necessary, so it’s necessary.

He’s left to take his armor off alone. Oikawa has to see off his challenger. They’re typically gone by the next day after being bested by Iwaizumi. He’s never seen any of them ever since their duel, or if he did he never remembered them. It only ever happens with the ones he dueled because they thought he was weak. Weird.

Iwaizumi shrugs it off. He honestly doesn’t care. He has a reward to receive.

\--

Iwaizumi comes to himself slowly. He’s sweaty and sticky, but he’s also feeling relaxed and a little lethargic. Oikawa is above him smiling. “There’s my good little Iwa-chan,” he coos.

He smiles back at Oikawa. “What do you need from me?”

“Nothing just yet,” Oikawa says, kissing along his neck. “I just figured you’d enjoy my attention.”

Iwaizumi sinks back onto the bed with a content hum. “I do.”

“Tell me, Iwa-chan, if you could have one thing tonight, just one, what would it be?”

He thinks about it for a second. His immediate answer would be Oikawa’s undivided attention, but he should probably put in more of an effort. “Call me Hajime.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow and Iwaizumi is nearly embarrassed, but he’s learned that it doesn’t really pay around Oikawa. It’s far easier to just be shameless. “That’s what you want?”

Iwaizumi nods. “That’s all I could ask for,” he says quietly. He’s unused to being in Oikawa’s presence for so long like this. It’s wonderful and amazing and he never wants it to stop. Ever. “I…”

“Come on, Hajime, you can do better than that,” Oikawa purrs into his ear and he shivers. “Think about it while you do something for me.”

“Anything,” Iwaizumi responds instantly. “Anything.” And he means it.

Oikawa smiles, dark and dangerous and Iwaizumi _loves_ it. “You know what I want you to do, right? The man who disrespected you. Kill him.”

Iwaizumi’s smile grows to become something almost wicked. “With pleasure.”

Oikawa leans down to kiss his neck before rolling off of him. “Don’t get caught,” he says lightly, curling up in the blankets and looking far too comfortable and adorable. “And go ahead and take your time. It’s been a while.”

Iwaizumi nods and makes his way to the room where Oikawa leaves all of the duelists who had insulted him in some way. Ever since the incident with Kohaku, Oikawa has made sure that Iwaizumi has some way to release his more… violent urges. There are plenty of people he had to be strategic about killing, but the ones that challenged him? He gets to have fun with them. Oikawa takes care of all of the cleaning up.

He opens the door slowly. The man he’d dueled earlier tries to shove his way past Iwaizumi. Instead, Iwaizumi shoves him back into the room, putting enough force into it to send the other man all the way to the far wall. He calmly closes the door and locks it behind him.

“What did you call me earlier?” Iwaizumi asks quietly as he stalks forward. He doesn’t bother lighting any of the lights in the room. Even though it is nearly pitch black outside, Iwaizumi can see perfectly. “The king’s pet?”

“What the fuck-”

Iwaizumi rolls his shoulders. “That’s almost true, but not in the pampered kind of way that you think. I’m more of an attack dog or a hunting dog.”

“You won the duel, alright? What is this supposed to be?”

He grabs the man by the neck and pushes him against the wall. “Fun.”

There’s no chance for a response. Iwaizumi throws the man to the ground and uses a little bit of magic to pin his hands to the ground. The man’s eyes are almost comically wide as he tries to move his arms. “Let me-”

Iwaizumi cuts him off with a hand over his mouth and a knife pressed against his throat. “I wouldn’t speak. If I were you. I always find it, hm, annoying.” He leans closer, uncaring when the knife cuts in more than he had intended. “The last man that ran his mouth too much got his tongue cut off.”

He can see the tips of the man’s fingers trembling. Good. He should be afraid.

“You know,” he hums, dragging the knife around, not yet pressing hard enough to really cut down, “everyone’s been told that you’re going away for a while. Maybe,” he hovers the knife over the man’s heart, “you’ll decide to permanently relocate.”

“No one will believe you,” the man tries and Iwaizumi narrows his eyes. 

“Oh,” Iwaizumi says, pretending to believe him, “maybe you should tell that to all of the others.”

“The others?”

Iwaizumi smiles at the tremor in his voice.

“So many others.” He continues the movements of his knife, pressing down hard enough to draw blood. “So, so many,” he punctuates each of those words by digging the knife in even harder.

“Who… who are you?”

He narrows his eyes once more, then sighs. “I didn’t want to do this just yet, but I did tell you not to talk.”

“Wait, no-” He’s cut off with a sort of scream. Iwaizumi’s shoved his left hand into the man’s mouth to grab his tongue. He cuts down the center of it, not really feeling like cutting his tongue all the way out. In the process, he nicks his own fingertips a little, but he’s not concerned. It’ll heal before the morning comes.

“That’s better,” Iwaizumi says contentedly. “I did warn you, you know. Now, even if you would somehow make it out of this room, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what’s happened.”

He digs his fingers into one of the other wounds and relishes in the scream it earns him. He wants to hear more.

“You know,” his voice is almost conversational, but he knows there’s an edge of excitement to it, “insulting me is nearly the same as insulting the king. And that is punishable by death. And I’ve been… tasked with carrying that out.”

The man’s struggles picked up again. Iwaizumi stabs the man’s right shoulder all the way through, digging the knife into the floor so it stays put.

“I wonder how much blood you’ll have to lose before you die. Stay still now.”

He pulls out a second knife and starts under the man’s chin, dragging it down to the middle of his chest. The nervous jump of the throat under the knife excites Iwaizumi. He probably pushes in a little bit too deep, but what does it really matter. This night will end in a death no matter what. This man isn’t as special to him as others have been. He doesn’t care. This is just a fun experiment.

How much pain can this man take?

Iwaizumi allows one of the man’s arms to move and watches the grimace appear as he moves around the knife in his shoulder. He positions the knife in his hand over the joint where the thumb meets the hand and pushes down quickly.

This time the scream is wet, no doubt from the blood filling the man’s mouth from his tongue.

“That’s no good,” he mumbles, turning the man’s head to the side so the blood can run out. It wouldn’t do for him to choke on his own blood before Iwaizumi can have his fun. He sits back for a second and admires what he’s done so far. “You know what would be fun?”

The man squeezes his eyes shut and trembles underneath him. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he shakes his head. Iwaizumi can’t be disappointed, really. Afterall, he did make it so the man wouldn’t be able to speak. He stands up, putting a couple of steps in between them. 

“Let’s play a little bit of a game. You get to keep the knife I gave you. You can even try to attack me with it for as long as you can stay standing and keep the knife in your hand and I won’t attack back,” he pauses to give the man some small amount of hope. “Every game has rules, though, so before we start I should tell you those. First, you need to hold the knife with your right hand. Second, if you fall, I get to have more of my own fun. Third, if you drop the knife, I’ll kill you right away. Well, I’ll make sure you die eventually due to your wounds. But I’ll leave you here to die.”

He let the man’s hands go.

“Feel free to start playing whenever you want.”

The man hesitates. He isn’t very fun, is he?

“If you want, I can go back to just having my own fun. I thought you might like at least a small chance. Afterall, you think I only got this position from sleeping with the king, right? How could you lose?”

 

The man shakily brings his hand up to his shoulder and slowly, ever so slowly, pulls the knife out. Iwaizumi grins. The man’s hand is slippery with blood and he doesn’t have a thumb anymore. There’s no way he’ll win. It takes a while for the man to stand up and once he does, he lunges. Iwaizumi merely twists out of the way, laughing.

The longer it goes on, the more desperate the man gets. He’s throwing more and more into his attacks and Iwaizumi can see him getting tired.

He does get one good hit in, though. One extremely lucky good hit. Just under his eye. On his _one_ scar.

Iwaizumi stumbles back. For a second, his vision changes, more color than he’s used to. He shuts his eyes as fast as he can. Before he can lose control. Before Oikawa’s control over him can waver. He opens his eyes and everything is back to normal. Hopefully this will only be remembered as a dream. Well, hopefully this won’t be remembered at all.

He looks back at the man. He’s staring at Iwaizumi with wide eyes. And no knife in his hand.

“Looks like you’ve made your choice,” he hums, watching the man’s eyes open wider than he thought possible. He mutters something that’s probably supposed to either be no or please, but what does it really matter. He uses his magic to pin the man to the wall and picks up the knife from the floor.

He maneuvers the man’s hands to be one on top of the other and stabs the knife through so they’re stuck to the wall. He takes out the other knife he had been using and makes a few gashes in the man’s arms and legs.

Then he goes into the side room and washes off. The man is still struggling when he comes out.

“Don’t worry,” he says sweetly. “You’ll die eventually.”

\--

Oikawa is miraculously still awake when Iwaizumi comes back. It’s really draining to let Iwaizumi do this. Enough that he gets a little worried.

He’s more worried about what might happen if he doesn’t allow this. He knows that doing any of this possession thing is bad, but even when he’s not possessed, Iwaizumi gets a little more violent than usual without these sessions. Really this part is just to help.

“He’s still alive, a little bit,” Iwaizumi says when Oikawa asks how it went. “He’ll be dead by morning.”

“And you remembered to lock the door?” Iwaizumi hands him the key with a nod. “Good.”

“I thought about your question. About what I want.”

“Oh?” Oikawa asks, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“I want to spend the night here. With you.”

Oikawa can’t say that wasn’t on his list of expectations. That was just lowest on the list of what he wanted Iwaizumi to say. “All night?” Iwaizumi nods earnestly.

Oikawa may have total control over Iwaizumi like this, but he was also incapable of saying no to Iwaizumi. “Okay,” he says, “of course you can have that. If there’s really nothing else you want more.”

“There’s not.”

“Then go get changed,” he says with a smile. As soon as Iwaizumi’s back is turned he flips back down onto the mattress and bites his lip. This might end badly with how weak he feels right now, but he couldn’t say no to Iwaizumi’s hopeful expression. Even though he really shouldn’t think of him as Iwaizumi like this. 

Oikawa would tell himself that he needs to stop before it goes too far, but it already has.

\--

Iwaizumi’s dreams disturb him. He dreams of murder. Of pure rage, but also pure adoration. He dreams of Oikawa.

It doesn’t feel like he’s dreaming, though. More like it’s a vivid memory.

He dreams of Oikawa leaning down to kiss him, on the lips like he never does. Were it real, he thinks he might get addicted to the sensation.

He dreams of Oikawa telling him to kill mercilessly.

He dreams of following those commands without question.

He dreams of Kohaku, one of the first that he killed. He had felt such rage that someone would _dare_ speak over Oikawa, so he cut his tongue out. Kohaku had punched him, so he cut his hand off. Just looking at him made Iwaizumi sick to his stomach with rage, so that’s where he cut into next, followed by his face so that Iwaizumi would never have to look at him again, and finally slitting his throat.

He dreams of going back to Oikawa and feeling shame at letting his emotions get the better of him.

He dreams of many more murders, most less emotional. Only some less graphic. And then there is the most recent.

He dreams of a girl who had flirted with him in front of Oikawa. She couldn’t have known. Almost no one knows that he’s with Oikawa. That they belong to each other and no one else.

He dreams of Oikawa’s jealous and possessive stare. Just a little less than human. He doesn’t protest when Oikawa takes him back to his room and lays a claim. He leaves his mark on Iwaizumi heavy and dark. Then, when Iwaizumi is sated and tired and pleasantly sore, Oikawa kisses him once more.

He dreams of Oikawa taking control. Of Oikawa taking over Iwaizumi’s mind and telling him to do anything, so long as Oikawa commands. And he’s so happy to do whatever Oikawa says.

He dreams of having wanted to sleep but now he’s awake and filled with rage once more. Rage because how dare she try to have something that belongs to Oikawa.

He dreams of being told to kill her and thinking _gladly_. He is worse to her than he was to Kohaku.

He dreams of leading her on. He pretends to be interested, only to pull out a knife once they’re alone in her room. He loves the way the knife just-

He’s awake again and he’s grateful for it. Iwaizumi really didn’t want to see where that was going. Matsukawa is standing over him, one hand on his shoulder. His first thought is something along the lines of _that’s not yours to touch_. Then he remembers his dreams.

“Are you okay?” Matsukawa asks.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Iwaizumi responds, shuddering. Part of his dream was real. He knows that. He remembers the girl and he still has the hickeys from Oikawa. Matsukawa returns with a bucket just in time. Iwaizumi throws up everything in his stomach and then a little more. He shudders the whole way through and tries not to think of his dreams.

Matsukawa’s rubbing his back in what he’s sure is supposed to be a soothing gesture, but it just makes Iwaizumi feel worse.

Iwaizumi sits panting and shivering for a bit. Matsukawa is a steady presence next to him, but with Iwaizumi’s current state of mind, he’s not entirely welcome. He just doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

The thought of hearts sets him off again and he retches into the bucket. As soon as he’s done he stands up weakly. Matsukawa stands with him. “What are you doing?”

“I have to-”

“It’s the middle of the night and you just spent like a half hour throwing up. You don’t have to do anything. Iwa-” Matsukawa reaches for his arm.

“Don’t touch me!” Iwaizumi screams, sounding sounding panicked, jerking away. Matsukawa stares at him in shock and Iwaizumi can’t really blame him.

“What’s going on?” Matsukawa asks quietly. “Please, I just want to know. I hate seeing you like this. Last time I somewhat understood why, but now? I don’t know what’s going on or how to help.”

Iwaizumi sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. He needs to check to see which parts of his dream were real and which were fake, but Matsukawa does deserve some explanation. Maybe talking about it with him would help. He sits back down on his bed and brings his knees up to his chest.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he says quietly. “I just… I don’t know, weird things are happening and I don’t know how to fix them.”

Matsukawa nods. “Last time it was when we were 16, right after the possession ceremony with Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi squeezes his eyes shut at that memory. He hates thinking of when Oikawa got possessed. He had changed, his whole personality was different afterwards. Iwaizumi supposes it was similar with him. Nothing could be the same after that.

“I don’t know what this is about,” he says. “There’s something I need to check before I can say for sure. I wish I knew. I wish I could fix this, whatever it is.”

“I know,” Matsukawa replies, just as quiet as he is. Matsukawa’s voice grates on his nerves. He doesn’t know why, but either way, he’s glad that Matsukawa’s done trying to touch him. “Maybe you could-”

Iwaizumi unconsciously tunes him out. His mind is saying the only way to fix this is with Oikawa. Matsukawa isn’t the right person to help him. He’s fairly certain he actually, physically needs Oikawa.

“I’m sorry, I… I have to go,” he says and he’s out the door before Matsukawa can protest or stop him. 

Iwaizumi races to Oikawa’s rooms, for some reason actively avoiding being seen.

He pushes the door open without hesitation and makes his way to Oikawa’s bed. He feels better just by being in the same room as Oikawa. All of his previous stress basically evaporated and he nearly forgot what he had come for.

“Tooru?” he calls hesitantly. “Are you awake?”

Oikawa groans and Iwaizumi feels bad for waking him up. “Iwa-chan? What are you doing?”

“I… I had a weird dream and I… I need to know why and I had a feeling that you would know.”

Oikawa sits up, yawning. “What was the dream about?”

His stomach churns once more at the thought of his dream. At the grotesque nature of the murders. “You know that girl that flirted with me yesterday?” Oikawa nods. “Well I had,” Iwaizumi sighs, moving to sit next to Oikawa on the bed, “I had this dream that you told me to kill her. And I did.” He stares down at his hands, tears welling in his eyes. His voice breaks again. “I just killed her without hesitation or anything.”

“Iwa-”

“I ripped her heart out, Tooru.”

“Hajime, love, listen to me,” Oikawa says, cupping Iwaizumi’s face in his hands. He wipes some tears away and kisses Iwaizumi softly on the forehead. “You wouldn’t do that. The fact that you’re so upset by it makes that clear, right?”

Iwaizumi nodded. “I guess, but still, what if-”

Oikawa shakes his head. “That’s all there is to it. You’d never rip someone’s heart out. You’re too good for that. Too nice. Too kind and caring.”

“But I-”

“Besides,” Oikawa continues, voice soothing, “would I really be so jealous that I would have a girl killed?” Iwaizumi shakes his head and leans into Oikawa. It feels comforting, but… “You’re still upset by it.”

“Can we just… can we go check where I dreamt it happened? I just need to know it’s not real.”

“How about I go and you stay here and rest. Tell me where it happened and I’ll go check,” Oikawa offers. “You’ve gotta be tired and you look really pale.”

The offer is very tempting, but he knows he needs to see it with his own eyes. He tells Oikawa as such and he thinks that maybe Oikawa narrows his eyes in displeasure at that, but he can’t be sure. 

Iwaizumi is nervous, but Oikawa at his side comforts him. He can’t help but compare it to how Matsukawa was making him feel earlier, how different that was. He feels safer now, less on edge. Less like his dream was actually real. So much so that he almost wants to just turn back. Why bother checking? It’s ridiculous to think that his dream was real. Honestly, he’s not sure what he was thinking. The only reason he continues to lead is that he doesn’t want to have woken up Oikawa for nothing.

He rounds a corner and opens a door and really wishes he would have turned back. The girl is there and it’s worse than he thought. He has to turn away so that he doesn’t throw up again, but the image is seared into his mind. He feels dizzy, lightheaded. Oikawa arrives seconds later and stares across the room in shock.

“Tooru,” he says quietly, likely seconds from a breakdown, “tell me I didn’t do this.”

Oikawa opens his arms and Iwaizumi practically runs to him. He presses his face to Oikawa’s chest and sobs. Oikawa rubs up and down his back with one hand and holds Iwaizumi’s head against his chest with the other.

“Maybe you had a vision of whoever killed her,” Oikawa suggests calmly. “People have visions like this all the time.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “It was me. It- it was, wasn’t it?”

Iwaizumi looks up at Oikawa in horror. It _was_ him. He’s the one that killed the girl. And Oikawa… Oikawa made him. Told him to do it and he couldn’t resist.

“Iwa-chan, that’s ridiculous,” Oikawa says, but Iwaizumi can see the lie in his eyes. “You don’t really believe-”

“You told me to do it,” Iwaizumi accuses. “It wasn’t even just her. There have been so many.”

He backs away from Oikawa. He’s getting closer to the body, but right now he thinks that’s better. “Hajime-” Oikawa calls out and reaches for him.

Iwaizumi keeps backing up until he hits a wall. He holds his head as if that will help with the sudden onslaught of memories. He looks up at Oikawa, still reaching one arm out to him with shock on his face.

“How could you do this to me?”

“Hajime, I-”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Don’t even try it right now.” He storms past Oikawa, uncaring when he roughly bumps into his shoulder.

“Hajime, please-”

He turns around and tries to hide his tears. “I thought you loved me.”

“I do! I do so please-” Oikawa tries again.

“You think this is _love_?” Iwaizumi asks coldly. “You really think that’s what this is?”

“ _Hajime_ ,” Oikawa cries like he’s _dying_ and Iwaizumi’s heart would have broken had it not already.

“Stop calling me that!” Iwaizumi yells. He knows they shouldn’t do this here. Someone could overhear. He doesn’t care. “You don’t get to anymore. You don’t get to act like you ever cared.”

“Please, please, just let me explain,” Oikawa begs. He looks seconds away from getting onto his knees to do it. “Please come back to me.”

“Why? So you can just keep making me kill like this?”

“I didn’t, I swear I didn’t make you do this. Iwa-chan, please.”

“No,” Iwaizumi says as calmly as he can. “I’m done.”

“Please,” Oikawa whispers once more after Iwaizumi turns his back on him. It takes nearly all of his strength to not turn around. He wants things to be okay again. He might even be okay going back to living in ignorance of all of this. They do say ignorance is bliss.

“This is your fault.”

Iwaizumi has to keep himself from running away after that. He leaves as calmly as he can. Oikawa doesn’t try to follow him. He has no idea how he actually makes it back to the room he shares with Matsukawa.

“You’re back?” Matsukawa asks, sitting up on his bed.

Iwaizumi nods, emotionally and physically exhausted. “Sorry I ran out of here like that.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head. “It’s going to sound crazy. I… I had these dreams that Oikawa was making me do things…” he trails off.

“What kinds of things?” Matsukawa prompts. Iwaizumi shivers. “Iwa?”

“Little things at first, nothing much. But… do you remember Kohaku?”

“That visiting noble that was killed?”

Iwaizumi nods. “He told me to do that. There were more, too. Then there was that girl that flirted with me yesterday. I… he told me to kill her.”

“But those are just dreams, right?” Matsukawa asks quietly. “There’s no way that-”

“I thought they were dreams,” Iwaizumi says. “I thought they were but I still had to check, you know? That’s why I left so suddenly. I just… I needed to know. And the girl, she’s…” Iwaizumi holds his head in his hands. He takes a shaky breath. “She’s just like I dreamt. And it’s not pretty at all.”

“Maybe you had a dream of someone else doing-”

“That’s what Oikawa said too, but right before Oikawa gave the command he always kissed me. He would never do that with anyone else.”

“Are you saying that Oikawa forcing you to kill other people is more likely than him cheating on you?”

Iwaizumi nods. “He wouldn’t-”

“You realize how insane that sounds, right?”

“Listen, I know Oikawa and-”

“Do you?” Matsukawa asks, effectively fully cutting off Iwaizumi. “Do you really?”

“I know him better than anyone else,” Iwaizumi responds immediately, reflexively, defensively. It doesn’t sound very convincing, though, even to his own ears. “I…”

“It sounds like it’s one or the other, Iwaizumi.”

“He wouldn’t cheat on me.”

“Then-”

“Maybe I should go back to Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says hesitantly. “M-maybe we should actually talk it out.”

Matsukawa stands up, crosses their room in about two steps, and slaps Iwaizumi. “No. Don’t think about him. What do you know to be true? What do you know happened? You were either there or not. Which is it?”

Iwaizumi closes his eyes and he can still see the girl, mutilated on the floor. He can still see Kohaku with his tongue lying a short distance away and his hand even farther away. He can still see countless others - some who haven’t even been found yet. “I was there,” he admits quietly, opening his eyes and staring at Matsukawa. “I was there and I did it. I don’t… I don’t know if I wanted to or not. I just know that Oikawa gave a command and I followed it. Without question.”

Matsukawa takes a deep breath. “I just want to say that it’s way too fucking late at night for this. What are you going to do in the morning?”

“I…” Iwaizumi hasn’t thought that far forward yet. “I want to leave.”

“Then do it.”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t leave Oikawa like that.”

“Sure you can.”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “You don’t understand. I can’t leave Oikawa without a guard that’s properly trained.”

Matsukawa looks at him in confusion. “Every one of the knights is fully trained. Can’t you just pick any one? They’ll all be able to protect Oikawa like you can.”

“That’s not what I’m for. I’m trained to kill him. If the demon possessing him gets too powerful and takes over, it’s my job to kill him. I can’t just leave without a successor.”

Matsukawa’s eyes widen. “You’re trained to kill him?”

Iwaizumi nods. “I have been since I was 16. Why do you think I hate the possessions so much? I can’t leave because I can’t let Oikawa possibly lose control and destroy the kingdom.”

“Teach me, then.”

\--

Iwaizumi takes a deep breath before pushing Oikawa’s door open. He knows this is going to end badly, but there’s not much he can do about that anymore. He’s made his plans already. He has everything packed. Most of his stuff is already out of the castle. This is all that’s left.

“Didn’t we agree that you would knock from now on?” Oikawa asks bitterly. Iwaizumi had honestly forgotten about that new rule. “What do you need?”

“I’ve-” Iwaizumi stops to clear his throat. “I’m here to officially resign.”

Oikawa stares at him. And stares. And stares. Iwaizumi wants to fidget under his gaze. “You… you’re _what_?”

“I’m here to resign,” he repeats with more confidence.

“You… you can’t _resign_. That’s not- you-”

“I don’t care what you think I can or can’t do. I don’t care that it’s against the rules,” he says, turning around and stepping towards the door. “You’re the king, rewrite the rules.”

“Hajime please can’t we just talk this through? I can-”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Everything was perfect between us, but that was only because you could use me, wasn’t it?”

“It’s not like that!”

“Right,” he replies bitterly, looking over his shoulder, “it’s not like you controlled me so that I would kill people for you, _is it_?” Oikawa opens his mouth to speak, but Iwaizumi cuts him off before he can start. “I’m done. I’m leaving.”

“No, please,” Oikawa tries. Iwaizumi turns his head and walks away. “Iwa-chan please.”

He gets as far as the door before he feels a pressure around his throat and wrists pulling him back. The harder he resists, the worse the pressure gets and eventually he can’t breathe anymore. He brings his hands up to his neck and feels something there, all the way around his neck. He looks down at his hands and notices a cuff on each one.

“Seriously? Are you kidding me?” Iwaizumi demands, turning around to face Oikawa again. He’s looking at the ground, apparently unable to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes. “A _collar_? Oikawa-”

“You know leaving like this is treason,” he murmurs. It’s not all him. The thought of Iwaizumi leaving must have been too much for Oikawa and he let the demon take a little control. He looks up and Iwaizumi sees the red of his eyes. “And that’s punishable by death.” He pulls Iwaizumi to him fast enough that he’s pulled off his feet and leaves him suspended in the air.

“Kill me then,” Iwaizumi says simply. “Since murder seems to be your answer to everything.”

“You’re mine-”

“No.” Oikawa seems startled by his short answer. Enough that he drops Iwaizumi to his feet.

“No?”

“No. I am no longer your knight, nor am I your boyfriend, I’m not your pet and I’m _certainly_ not your slave. Let me leave and if this is treason and punishable by death then kill me yourself.” Iwaizumi pulls a knife from his belt and holds the handle out to Oikawa. “No magic. No games. Kill me yourself if you’re going to be threatening me with treason.”

Oikawa looks down at the knife and back up at Iwaizumi. He moves the knife closer to Oikawa. Oikawa reaches out, hand shaking and grabs the knife. It slides out of Iwaizumi’s hand easily and he doesn’t look anywhere but Oikawa’s face as soon as it has left his hand.

“Well?” Oikawa doesn’t look up at him. He feels the resistance as the knife slides back into his belt. “Now let me go Oikawa.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Oikawa breathes out as he touches first the cuffs around Iwaizumi’s wrists and then the collar around his neck to make them disappear. “I’m sorry.” He gives Iwaizumi a brief hug before whispering, “Go. Before I lose control again. Go.”

Iwaizumi closes his eyes for a second, soaking in the atmosphere. He doesn’t want to leave. He wishes it could be different. He wishes Oikawa didn’t still have his heart.

“I love you,” Oikawa calls out when he’s almost out the door.

Iwaizumi can’t respond because if he does, he’ll say it back and if he says it back, he’ll stay.

\--

Iwaizumi collapses as soon as he’s inside the door of his new house. He’s sweating and it’s a miracle that he made it this far in the first place. Each step he took away from the castle had been harder than the last to take. 

Even still he feels compelled to go back. It’s wrong that he left Oikawa. He shouldn’t have done it. Shouldn’t have taught Matsukawa what he knows. Shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have. 

But he needed to. He knows that he needed to. Without physical distance between himself and Oikawa, he would go crawling back. Even though he knows it would’ve been wrong. He would’ve gone back to Oikawa.

And after that?

Well, now that he knew what Oikawa had been doing to him, now that there weren’t any other secrets worse, he knows he wouldn’t leave again. No matter what.

Still, he shouldn’t have left. It is- it _was_ his duty as a knight to stay by Oikawa’s side. _He shouldn’t have left._

Iwaizumi clutches his head. He’s got a pounding headache and he knows that if he tries to stand up again he’ll just end up on the floor once more.

It feels as though he’s splitting apart. As though the dissent in his thoughts is causing this actual, physical reaction.

His vision blurs a few times.

He has enough energy left for one short pained cry before everything goes black. There’s no way to tell how long he lays on the floor. All he knows is that there’s only pain registering.

When he can finally see again and the pain has subsided, it’s dark out. Iwaizumi opens his eyes and sees a pair of eyes staring back at him. He’s on his feet in an instant and instinctively pulls out a knife. When he sees who it is, though, he hesitates.

It’s… him?

Apparently hesitation is the worst reaction. The other version of himself attacks right away and manages one good hit before Iwaizumi reacts and fights back. He’s not used to fighting opponents with no qualms about using magic, so he’s quickly pushed down to the floor and held in place by magic. His own magic is unresponsive so there’s nothing he can do when the other Iwaizumi straddles his hips and apparently gets comfortable.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“You fucking left Oikawa,” comes the growled response. Iwaizumi’s breath catches in his throat when a hand fits around his neck and squeezes down. “You left him with no intention of coming back. How _dare_ you?”

That doesn’t answer his question exactly, but it gives him a little bit of information. It’s hard not to get a general idea about what happened when the results are staring you in the face. He’s split in two and this must be the possessed version of himself that Oikawa had murder all those people. “I didn’t want to leave him,” he chokes out and his voice is only like that in part from the lack of oxygen. “I couldn’t-”

“You were _weak_. There was nothing wrong with how everything was. I had the nights with him and you had the days. It was fine. But _you_ had to go and fuck everything up. It’ll be better now, though,” he hisses, taking his hand off of Iwaizumi’s neck only to replace the heavy weight with sharp nails pressing down. “Now I’ll have him all to myself. I would do _anything_ to stay with him.”

“You had… you had every night with him?” Iwaizumi asks in concern.

“What, jealous?” he replies with a predatory grin. 

Iwaizumi shakes his head, momentarily forgetting the danger above him. “Oikawa would have to be low on energy if he did that every night. He’d… no wonder he lost control earlier. It’s because of you.” Iwaizumi glares at the man above him and summons just enough strength to push himself up and break the magical bonds holding him down. “You’ve been draining him of all his strength.”

“He _offered_ to do it. That’s not my fault.”

“No, but it is your fault for taking him up on the offer.” Iwaizumi is glad he hadn’t dropped his knife when he fell. He swings uncaringly at the other version of himself and manages to cut him up his right cheek and just a little past his eyebrow. 

“You fucker,” he growls, holding his face with one hand. “You’re lucky I want to get back to Oikawa as quickly as possible, otherwise I would drag your death out longer.”

Iwaizumi is slammed back to the floor and he lets out a pained groan when his head hits. He’s pretty sure some part of his head is bleeding now. The knife is into and out of his chest quickly and he can’t hold in his scream from the pain. He wants to get up, to stop the other version of himself from going to Oikawa, but he can’t. Instead he passes out.

\--

Oikawa locks himself in his room and collapses to the floor after Iwaizumi leaves. He had pushed the demon back as much as he could while Iwaizumi was still here so that he wouldn’t lock him up in order to make him stay. But now it’s so hard to keep it at bay.

Iwaizumi had always been able to help him regain control. Oikawa doesn’t know how to deal with this alone. He never thought he would have to. 

His head feels like it’s breaking open. Slowly, ever so slowly, he brings one of his hands up to his head to find blood. Blood and horns. He takes his hand away and stares at the blood dripping from it, such a deep crimson red. A red he is sure is reflected in his eyes. This is the most the demon has been able to break through his carefully crafted defenses and he’s trying so hard to keep it back, but it’s _so tempting_ to let go. Let the demon take over. Give up. Stop fighting. What does he have left to fight for anyway?

_Your people._

_Your kingdom._

_Your freedom._

That’s what Iwaizumi would say to him. He should probably listen to his hypothetical Iwaizumi. He really should. It’s just so much easier to not. Tears slip from his eyes, thick and hot, when he squeezes them shut.

Iwaizumi isn’t here anymore, what would he care? He doesn’t care about Oikawa. He wouldn’t have left if he cares.

Oikawa cries out as he feels the horns grow longer.

He needs to get himself under control. He needs to push down the growing hole in his heart. It can’t be filled with the demon. Oikawa knows he can’t seek comfort that way. He can’t just replace Iwaizumi with demonic magic.

Well…

The thought is shaken away as soon as it comes to him. The possessed version of Iwaizumi _isn’t_ him. Not really. Besides, when Iwaizumi left, he took the only way Oikawa had of possessing him.

So he’s alone.

Another cry leaves him as his nails turn into claws and wings break through his back. He digs his new claws into the carpet in an attempt to deal with the pain.

He’s so alone.

\--

He looks down at the other one. He breathes in deeply, glad to be his own person finally. He kicks at the body impersonally.

“Shame,” Iwaizumi hums. There’s no reaction when he kicks. He stabs the other one through the heart once more, just to be sure he’s dead before gathering some of his things and heading back to the castle.

He’s been away from Oikawa for far too long and he resents the fact that he’s so far away from the castle now. It’ll take him at least until morning to make it back to the castle. He’ll have time enough for his face to heal, he supposes.

He has no problems getting back to the castle. It takes a while, but he almost feels like he’s being pulled there, pulled closer to Oikawa. 

There’s only one small issue before he can enter the castle. The guards. They’ll recognize him, of course, but as far as they know he isn’t supposed to ever be back. They’ll ask questions and slow him down. He does his best to go unnoticed, but-

“Iwaizumi?”

He knows that voice. He _hates_ that voice, but it’s perfect. “Matsukawa! I didn’t know you would be here!”

“I could say the same to you, weren’t you going to-”

Iwaizumi cuts him off by taking the same knife he had used earlier to kill the other version of himself and does the same thing to Matsukawa. Stabs him through the heart quickly.

“Iwa?” Matsukawa says weakly. Iwaizumi drops the body. He looks up and sees Hanamaki staring at him with wide eyes.

Iwaizumi walks toward him slowly, not bothering to put the knife away just yet. Hanamaki appears to be frozen still in either shock or fear. His breath is coming in ragged pants and his eyes keep flickering back and forth between Iwaizumi and Matsukawa’s dead body. 

“You just-” Hanamaki whimpers and his voice is barely audible.

“Are you,” Iwaizumi says, playing with his knife and looking Hanamaki dead in the eyes, “going to tell anyone?”

Hanamaki shakes his head.

“Are you sure Mak-ki?” he asks, emphasizing both syllables of the name and making it sound as innocent as possible. He nudges Hanamaki’s chin up with the blade, uncaring if he cuts in a little bit. “You won’t tell _anyone_?”

“I- I won’t,” Hanamaki answers him, voice trembling. 

“Good,” he hums, wiping the knife off and putting it away. “The way you’ll say this happened is that you were doing something quickly, pick whatever you want, and came back to find him dead, okay?” Hanamaki nods. “I’m here to stay, by the way.” He looks down at Matsukawa. “Remember that.”

Iwaizumi walks away, up a set of stairs and into a hidden passageway. He hasn’t used this one in a long time and it’s tighter than he remembers, but it’s still a lot faster than going the normal way. It needs to be. He doesn’t honestly expect Hanamaki to not tell anyone that he had just killed Matsukawa. Hanamaki would be an idiot if he legitimately kept quiet about that.

The passageway ends at the back of Oikawa’s closet. Oikawa’s always made sure his clothes cover up the door so that no one even suspects a false door.

Oikawa is sitting in his chair by the window, head tilted to the side. Iwaizumi smiles as he realizes that Oikawa is still asleep. He strokes Oikawa’s cheek with the back of his hand.

Oikawa’s eyes flutter open and the look on his face is enough to make Iwaizumi happy for the rest of his life.

“Iwa-chan, you came back?”

He kisses Oikawa - on the lips because he _can_ now - after nodding once, quickly, and climbs onto Oikawa’s lap. Sharing a real kiss with Oikawa is far better than he ever could have imagined. He wants it to never stop. “What ever happened to calling me Hajime?” he teases.

“Are you… are you back for good?” Oikawa asks and he resents the fact that he didn’t have time to draw out the death of the other Iwaizumi with how insecure Oikawa looks right now. 

“Of course. Of course I am,” he breathes out, kissing Oikawa once more. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Hajime,” Oikawa responds, placing his palm on Iwaizumi’s cheek. He tries to contain his hiss, but the cut didn’t heal nearly as fast as he had expected it to. “What’s this?”

“It’s just-”

A knock on the door interrupts them and Iwaizumi is forced to stand. “Enter,” Oikawa calls out. The door opens to reveal Hanamaki, panting. Hanamaki looks up and makes eye contact with Iwaizumi. “What is it, Hanamaki?”

Hanamaki’s eyes dart between Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He’s always been smart. “I- I came to tell you that Iwaizumi has come back but it looks like he’s beaten me here.” Like he said. Smart. Hanamaki bows. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“How’s Matsukawa?” Iwaizumi asks.

Hanamaki hesitates in answering. Iwaizumi can practically see the nervous sweat from across the room. “Not much has changed. You haven’t been gone that long, you know.”

“Of course. Just felt like something’s changed with him since I left.”

“Right. I’ll leave you two alone now, unless you’ve any more questions?” When Hanamaki is met with silence, he leaves the room.

“What happened with you while I was gone?” Iwaizumi asks softly, stroking along Oikawa’s new horns.

“I thought you weren’t going to come back, so I lost control a little bit,” Oikawa sighs out. “I barely slept last night. You’re really here to stay?”

“Of course. I’ll stay by your side until I die.”

\--

Iwaizumi wakes up with someone freaking out above him. He’s in a pool of dried blood. He sits up and sees that all of the blood probably came from him. He winces at the scream that sounds.

There’s a woman in the corner, cowering and screaming. Iwaizumi scrambles to his feet and rushes to her. “Hey, hey,” he says in the calmest tone he can manage.

She stops screaming, but backs away from him. Her mouth is moving and Iwaizumi can just barely make out what she’s saying.

“Is that an exorcism?!” he yells.

“You just came back from the dead!” she yells back.

Iwaizumi stares at her. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You came back from the dead. There’s no way you don’t know that, you demon fuck!”

“What do you _mean_?”

“An hour ago you were on that floor,” she points to the spot he had been lying, “dead. And now you’re on your feet, living and breathing and walking. Just like that.”

“I wasn’t dead though.”

“Yes you fucking were. You think someone could lose that much blood and get up and walk away?” She walks forward and grabs the torn edges of Iwaizumi’s shirt to tear it open. “With not even a mark?”

“It’s a protection spell, I didn’t die, though,” Iwaizumi argues, twisting away from her. “I was in a fight, but not all of that is my blood.”

“Yes it is.”

“No, it’s… it’s complicated.” Iwaizumi sighs, rubbing his eyes. “But look, I’m not a demon and I didn’t die. I just heal fast and I don’t scar.”

“Right,” the woman responds, grabbing his wrist and pulling him out the door. “Come with me.”

“Can’t I put a normal shirt on first?”

“Nope.”

Iwaizumi sighs, following her lead. They pause for a second in front of a church and it’s only now that he realizes that she’s wearing the traditional clothes from that church. “You’re really going with the whole demon thing, aren’t you?”

“There’s no way you’re not a demon.”

“Are you sure you work for the church? You’ve got kind of a filthy mouth for a priestess.” She rolls her eyes and pulls him along. “Why were you in my house, anyway?”

“I felt demonic energy coming from it. Obviously.”

“But you broke in. Aren’t you supposed to like. Ask first? Before coming into someone’s house?”

“I’m not a vampire.”

“You look like one.”

“I’m not listening to a demon.”

“First, I’m still not a demon. Second, it sure doesn’t seem like you’re not listening to me.” The woman huffs and rolls her eyes. He’s led into the church, through a maze of hallways until they stop before a large door. It’s probably significant, but Iwaizumi’s never been in a church save for Oikawa’s possession ceremony. He doesn’t like churches. “What if I’m a noble or a royal?” he asks, at this point just to irritate her. “Every royal is possessed by a demon.”

“Every royal is _possessed_ by a demon, that’s not the same as being a demon. If you were a royal - which you’re not - the demon would’ve just fucked off the second a wound turned lethal.”

“You seem to know a lot about demons, how do I know you’re not one?”

“I’m training to be the head exorcist when I’m older, of course I know a lot about demons.”

“Good luck with that,” he says and it probably sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. “Are we gonna go in there or not? Because if I’m going to be stuck in a church, I’d really like a clean, functional shirt.”

“The doors will open when we can enter. Be patient.” She crosses her arms. “It’s a tradition that whatever village you’re from must not have kept.”

“I didn’t grow up in a village, I grew up in the castle,” Iwaizumi says simply. “And I don’t go to church.”

She stares at him. “You didn’t grow up in a castle.”

Honestly, that’s among the last things he expected her to say. “Yeah I did.”

“There’s no way! Why would you leave?”

Iwaizumi grimaces. Note to self: don’t tell people that without a good reason for why. “Uhh…”

He’s saved from responding by the doors in front of them opening.

“Hinata-san, what are you doing back so soon?” the man who had opened them asks. He looks familiar to Iwaizumi for some reason. 

“Irihata-san! I… I sensed demonic energy coming from this man’s house, so I went to investigate and found him dead on the floor-”

“I’m telling you, I didn’t die.”

“-and while I was still there he came back to life.”

“So you think he’s a demon.” Hinata nods and Irihata sighs. “At least you didn’t attempt an exorcism on your own this time. Especially because he’s not the demon.”

“He’s not, what do you mean he’s not? There was a demon? And how do you know?”

“You’re the king’s personal knight, correct?” Iwaizumi nods. “We’ve met before.”

“We have?”

Irihata nods. “Hinata-san, could you leave us for a moment?”

“But I want-” She pauses and hangs her head a little. “Very well.” She leaves and closes the fancy door.

“Walk with me,” Irihata says. The farther he goes into the church, the more unrest he feels, but he doesn’t want to refuse. “You likely won’t remember our last meeting. The king brought you here a few years ago, while he was still prince, but after the ceremony. Your eyes were gray and your face blank of any emotion. The young prince was scared. He wanted to know how to change you back. I told him how and offered a more permanent solution. He said he would come back for it, but he never did. I haven’t seen either of you since that night. I would guess that you have figured out what was going on, but you don’t know exactly how.”

“I… I know what I did, but…”

Irihata nods in understanding. “You know what you could see from it. There’s much more to it than that, I’m afraid. I researched it after the king came to me. It was hard to find, but I learned that what was going on wasn’t simply the king using his newfound powers to control you as we had both thought at first. To put it in the simplest terms, King Oikawa wasn’t the only one that got possessed during the ceremony.”

Iwaizumi stops walking and Irihata turns around to look at him. “You mean I…” he pauses, really, truly unable to process the information, “I got possessed by a demon?”

“That’s correct. Only the demon that possessed you was content to lie dormant. Until it came into contact with King Oikawa. Even still, it seemed like it didn’t have much intent. All it really wanted to do was follow the king’s orders. It acted almost like it ended up inside of you by accident. But it was content. As long as it was near Oikawa, it was content.”

“So when I left it got mad because I wasn’t near him anymore,” Iwaizumi mutters. It makes sense now. Not the part where he allegedly died and came back to life. Or the part where there’s two of him now. But the unrest he felt and the anger from the other version of himself. “We, uh, separated into two people. I think the other one went back to the castle.”

“I think it’s best to let him be for now. You can’t really do anything to him if he’s made it back. Especially not if he’s killed you once already.”

\--

Oikawa’s an idiot if he truly believes Iwaizumi has come back to him. Sure, he knows that physically Iwaizumi is here.

That doesn’t mean he’s _Oikawa’s_ Iwaizumi. It’s the possessed version that he had created. He has a new scar now. From his cheek up past his eyebrow a little. The protection spell should’ve fixed that back when Iwaizumi had come back. It shouldn’t have taken four weeks only for it to scar. His eyes are gray, but they’re more lively than before.

“Hey Iwa- I mean- Hajime?”

Hajime looks up at him from where he’s resting on Oikawa’s chest in his bed. “Yeah?”

“Have you- did you-” Oikawa sighs, unsure how the question would go over with him. He bites his lip and Iwaizumi waits for him to collect his thoughts. “You seem different,” he settles with. “Than before you left, I mean.”

“Do I?” Iwaizumi asks innocently. He’s good at that now. Playing innocent.

“Don’t lie to me. Please,” Oikawa says quietly. “I know… I know that you’re… you’re not the same person as when you left.”

“Do you… do you not love me like this? All I want is for you to be happy, are you not?”

“I-” he starts, but apparently Iwaizumi hasn’t finished speaking yet.

“If you want me to leave, I will. If that would make you happier.”

Oikawa’s eyes widen. “No! No don’t leave! Please, Hajime I love you. I love you like this and I am happy.” He can’t… he _can’t_ lose Iwaizumi again. It doesn’t matter what version, he can’t.

“Are you sure?” Iwaizumi asks, pushing himself up to look down at Oikawa. “You don’t seem-”

“I promise! I’m-” Oikawa forces himself to smile, “I’m happy.”

He knows this isn’t the real Iwaizumi, but he also knows this is all he’ll ever be able to have anymore. And he’s fine with it. Really, he is. He can’t stand the thought of Iwaizumi leaving him again, so he’s happy with how things are now.

“As long as you’re happy,” Iwaizumi says, mirroring his smile in a much more sincere way. He settles back down against Oikawa and they lay in silence for a while. “By the way I learned recently that there may be a spy in the army, perhaps an assassin.”

“Really? I can-”

“I’ve already got a plan for how to deal with it. I’ve got a list of people suspected to be spies and I’ll-”

“No.”

“No?” Iwaizumi asks. “You didn’t even hear my idea, how are you rejecting it already?”

“We can’t treat everyone like they’re guilty without any proof. And if there’s only one guilty person, we can’t accuse them all.”

“It’s to protect you,” he argues, sounding almost offended.

“It might protect me, but it won’t end well. The people will be afraid that I would come after them for something as small as a rumor.”

“Then we have to keep you safe-”

“Iwa-chan, wait-” Oikawa tries but Iwaizumi cuts him off with a glare. He forgot about the Hajime thing.

“We have to keep you away from any threats.”

“Hajime, I can handle myself,” he responds angrily, sitting up in the bed. “I don’t need protection from a rumor.”

“What if you just moved to a different room in the castle?” Iwaizumi suggests. “In case anyone decides to attack you in your sleep.”

Oikawa sighs. He knows that Iwaizumi isn’t going to give this up. He may have changed a little, but his stubborn side remains. The problem with moving to a different room, though, is that this room is designed to allow in the most sunlight. He needs to be here in order to keep himself at the right power level to control his demon. No where else in the castle would work.

“I can’t move rooms, Hajime. You know that.”

“There’s a room in the west tower that you could move to. I already made sure that you would get enough sun so that you can stay strong. Please. Just for a little bit.”

Oikawa bites his lip. He doesn’t want to. He can barely sleep in any other place than his own room. Sleep almost never comes to him when he’s visiting other kingdoms. Even if it’s still in his castle, he doubts he will be able to sleep well. “Just a few nights?” Iwaizumi nods. “I suppose I could.”

“Thank you,” he whispers, taking Oikawa’s left hand and kissing it softly. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

\--

“So you just focus your energy,” Hinata explains, moving Iwaizumi’s arms to the correct position, “and shoot.”

He tries once more for what feels like the hundredth time that day. As expected, nothing happens. He groans and drops his arms. “I’m telling you, I’ve honestly never been good at combat type magic. All I can do is heal and do other little things.”

She drops to sit on the floor with a huff. “Anyone can learn combat.”

“I prefer to fight without magic or tricks. I don’t want to play games with someone, I want to fight them.”

“Let’s take a break for today,” Hinata suggests. “Come over to my house and I’ll pretend I can cook well. You can also meet my nephew.”

“I get to meet Shouyou?” Iwaizumi fakes a gasp. “Does this mean I’ve finally convinced you I’m not a demon?” Hinata laughs from her place on the floor. “Perfect, finally a good time to strike!”

He lunges at her, pinning her down and tickling her sides. She laughs even harder, not really putting up a fight. “Iwa, stop it.” Iwaizumi actually does stop when she says that, but not because she told him to. It’s been a long time since anyone had called him anything other than Iwaizumi. “Hey, are you alright?”

Iwaizumi shakes lingering thoughts of Oikawa out of his mind. He hadn’t actually progressed all the way to thinking about Oikawa, but he was close. “I’m fine. Just not used to not being called Iwaizumi, that’s all. It took me by surprise.”

“Alright, well, get off me so we can go visit Shouyou.” Iwaizumi moves out of her way and offers her a hand. “You’re sure you’re alright, though?”

Iwaizumi ruffles her hair. “I’m sure.”

“You know, I think you’ll be able to do the combat magic tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”

“I just have a feeling.”

Iwaizumi smiles. “Not sure why you can’t just come with me all the time.”

“Oh, I’m far too dainty and delicate, you know. I never got my proper knight’s training,” she teases. Iwaizumi’s been told repeatedly why he has to learn to do the whole thing alone, he just doesn’t want to. He’s not sure he can face Oikawa and the other version of himself alone.

“I could fix that, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” Hinata asks, laughing once more. “I think you just want an excuse to be near me.”

Iwaizumi smiles and shrugs. “Is that really a bad thing?”

\--

Oikawa lifts his head up when he hears the door open. He’s laying on the floor in the one small patch of sunlight coming in from the window. He would be doing something productive, but there wasn’t much in his room for him to do. All of his things were in his study. Hajime had promised to bring them up to him, but after a week, he doesn’t hold much hope anymore.

“I’m surprised Hajime let you in,” Oikawa comments, laying his head back on the ground. Unlike his own room, the room Hajime had chosen for him only has windows facing west instead of both east and west. As such, he only gets a few hours of sun each day, so he needs to make the most of it.

“He didn’t, strictly speaking,” Hanamaki answers. “I brought you some milk bread.”

Oikawa sits up. “Really?”

“I snuck some out of the kitchen on my way here,” Hanamaki says, handing it to him. “Eat it and make yourself look a little bit less…” he pauses, likely remembering that it’s the king he’s talking to, “disheveled.”

“What for? It’s not like I’ll be leaving this room any time soon,” Oikawa pouts. 

“Yes, you are, so make yourself presentable. King Kuroo just arrived and you’re going to go talk to him.”

“Kuroo’s here?” Hanamaki nods. “I didn’t even know he was coming.”

Hanamaki hesitates for a second. It’s brief, but Oikawa still notices it. He learned, after a while, to read Hanamaki and Matsukawa nearly as easily as Iwaizumi. He’s hiding something. “That doesn’t matter, I still think you should meet with him.”

“Has Hajime-”

“Forget him for a second, alright? Focus on yourself. Focus on your kingdom. You haven’t met with any other foreign leaders in nearly three months. It’s been even longer since you’ve been out of the castle. Pretty soon the people will think that we’re lying when we say you’re even alive. What business does a king have stuck in a tower. You can’t lead like this.”

“I know,” Oikawa says, “I know. I just… I don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me again.”

“You-”

“I’m no good to the kingdom if I let myself lose control. And I will again if Hajime leaves. I just… I just need to wait until he’s decided I’m safe to go back to my own room. It won’t be much longer.” Oikawa’s words sound hollow even to himself, but he needs to believe they’re true.

“What do you mean ‘again’?” Oikawa drops the glamour he’d been wearing to cover up his new appearance. Hanamaki gasps and takes a step back in fear.

It’s been a while since he’d dropped the glamour. He keeps it up at all times because he can’t bear to see his true appearance anymore. He stares down at his hands. The tips of his claws have turned black since the last time he’d checked. About half of what used to be his fingers is now pitch black and he knows there’s no way for him to actually reverse the effect. The wings on his back are heavier and they’ve likely grown, but those are easy to fold behind him and pretend they don’t exist.

“When did…” Hanamaki trails off.

“After Iwa-chan left. I’ve… I’ve got the kingdom’s best interest in mind by not going against Hajime. If I do, he might leave. If he leaves, I’ll lose control again. I know you’re terrified of me like this, imagine what the commoners would feel. They’d be afraid and they’d attack.”

Oikawa puts the glamour back up and sags a little at the drain on his power returning. “I still think you should meet with Kuroo. He’s in the east ballroom on the second floor.” Hanamaki pauses at the door on his way out. “I really hope you make the right choice. For yourself.”

Oikawa watches Hanamaki leave. He left the door open. Oikawa knows that if the door closes, he’ll be locked back in again. He stands up and walks to the door, pushing it almost all the way shut. He looks out of the door at the hallway beyond, then down at the handle.

He throws the door open.

It’s harder for him to actually walk through the door, but once he does he nearly runs to his old room to make himself presentable. It feels good to be able to move around and feel in control of his own life again, but there’s still the nagging thought at the back of his head telling him that Hajime will be mad.

Oikawa pushes open the doors to the second floor ballroom in the east wing. He barely has time to get one foot in the door when he sees Hajime attack Kuroo.

“Hajime, what are you doing!” he yells, running forward. Hajime looks up at him and is only barely slowed in his actions when he lunges forward and kills Kuroo. Kuroo’s guards, he’s pretty sure they’re named Yamamoto and Yaku, run forward, but all of them are too late. Kuroo drops to the floor. Dead.

Oikawa stops when Hajime looks back at him. Yamamoto and Yaku don’t have that kind of hesitation when they attack Hajime. He panics because he doesn’t know what to do. Logically, he knows he should let Yamamoto and Yaku attack and get revenge. If he does that, he’ll avoid a war. An eye for an eye and all that.

Instead, he uses his magic to separate everyone to separate corners of the room.

“That’s an act of war,” Yaku growls. “If you want to avoid war, you’ll let us kill him.”

Oikawa looks between Yaku and Hajime. He’s kept their kingdom in a time of peace throughout his reign. A war would be a blemish on his reputation, but then again so would the people finding out what he truly looks like now. (So would the fact that he’s practically MIA.)

“I won’t,” he says, almost quietly, then repeats it louder. He releases them from the magic holding them back.

“You really want a war?”

He doesn’t, but he can’t lose Hajime. “I declare war upon Nekoma. Go spread the news.”

Yaku and Yamamoto run from the room and it’s only at that point that Oikawa realizes that he had accidentally dropped his glamour. He doesn’t have enough energy to put it back up. He turns to Hajime, who has easily broken free of his hold. 

“What are you doing here?” Hajime asks him, almost sounding angry. Oikawa, by habit, takes a small step back. “Shouldn’t you be in your room?”

“What were you thinking?” Oikawa responds, gesturing towards the general direction of Kuroo’s body. “You can’t just kill a visiting royal! Not when he’s the king of our strongest ally! Do you think we’ll be able to keep any allies anymore? If this is what happened to Kuroo, how will they know that it won’t happen to them?”

“Relax,” Hajime murmurs, stepping closer to Oikawa. He doesn’t move away this time, lets Hajime get close enough to hang off his shoulder and whisper in his ear, “Everything will be fine. He was going to try to pull us apart. I stopped that from happening. We’ll be fine.”

“We’re at war now,” Oikawa says, but he still sinks into Hajime.

“He wanted to take me away from you. It’s fine, though, he can’t do that anymore. How’d you get out of your room?”

Oikawa doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t protest when Hajime starts leading him out of the ballroom. Back to his new room. Back to far too little sunlight each day. They pass his study and Oikawa tries to stop. “Can I-”

“You need to be safe, I’ll bring your things from your study later.”

“But with you-”

“You’re safest in your room, aren’t you?” Oikawa nods, letting Hajime take him by the hand and continue leading him. “Say it out loud?”

“I’m safest in my room,” Oikawa repeats. 

They pass Hanamaki in the corridor. Oikawa makes eye contact with him briefly before turning his gaze to the ground, studying Hajime’s boots carefully. He feels almost ashamed of himself. It seems like he’s a disobedient child.

“I’ll be back later,” Hajime says, not even stepping into the room.

“Can’t you-”

Hajime cuts him off with a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Oikawa murmurs. Hajime shuts the door in his face after once more telling Oikawa that he’ll be back later.

He sinks to the floor, leaning back against the door. He can feel Hajime’s magic locking it shut and he knows that the lock is stronger now. He knows that he’s too weak to open it anymore.

\--

“At war with _Nekoma_?” Hinata yells. Iwaizumi can see where her nephew gets his energy from. “Why the fuck are we at war with Nekoma?”

Iwaizumi sighs, leaning back to lay on the floor. “That’s just what Irihata told me. Do you use such foul language around Shouyou?”

“Are you against swearing or something?”

Iwaizumi shrugs. “Not necessarily, I just don’t really like it. I don’t swear often. Kinda like I’m not against churches I just don’t like them. I prefer to stay out of them.”

“I guess that makes sense. I don’t get the church part, but whatever.”

“Bad memories,” Iwaizumi murmurs, staring up at the ceiling. Hinata comes to stand over him and he blushes and turns his head to the side. She sits down and lays with her back on his stomach.

“Sorry for bringing it up,” she says quietly after a short pause.

“It’s fine, they’re old memories.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not still bad.”

Iwaizumi runs his fingers through her hair. “I’d tell you about them if I hadn’t sworn myself to secrecy, you know.”

“I know,” she hums. He feels her head move under his hand. “They’ve got to do with King Oikawa, right?”

She looks up at him like she already knows the answer and he sighs. “They do.”

“You have a lot of bad memories from when you lived in the castle?”

His hand stills as he looks up at the ceiling and thinks about it. “No,” he answers, almost absent mindedly, “I’ve only got two. Oikawa’s possession ceremony and the last month I stayed there.”

“A month is a long time to call a bad memory.”

“It’s over now, though,” he says. It’s been, what, a year and a half since he left the castle? “I like it here.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the best part?” Hinata asks cheekily. 

Iwaizumi pretends to think about it for long enough that she gets antsy. “You,” he finally answers honestly. She stills and it’s the quietest she’s ever been. Iwaizumi raises himself up onto his elbows. Her face is nearly as red as her hair. “What’s wrong?” he teases.

“You can’t just- You can’t just say shit like that!” she yells, pushing herself off of him only to tackle him back to the floor.

“What, I can’t be honest?”

“Hajime, that’s not fair,” Hinata whines.

“You know, we’ve known each other for a while,” Iwaizumi starts and Hinata lifts her face away from where it was buried in his shoulder, “You should tell me your given name.”

“Why should I tell a demon like you?” She smiles, then her face turns very serious. “It’s Hoshiko. Hinata Hoshiko, nice to meet you.”

“Hinata Hoshiko, it’s very wonderful to meet a refined maiden such as yourself,” Iwaizumi says, just as serious.

They can barely hold in their laughter after that.

\--

“We’re at war with Shiratorizawa, too?” Iwaizumi asks. “We can’t afford to be at war with Shiratorizawa.”

“I know, Hajime,” Hoshiko sighs. “I think you’re going to have to-”

“Come with me. Please.”

Hoshiko bites her lip and looks away. “Irihata said-”

“Are you really gonna listen to Irihata without question?” Iwaizumi challenges. “Come on, Hoshiko, I know you better than that. I won’t force you to come with me, but I want your choice to be your own.”

“Give me just a little time to think about it?” Iwaizumi nods, kissing her on the cheek softly. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” he responds. With a grin, he adds, “So long as I haven’t sworn myself to secrecy over it.”

“What’s with your aversion to kissing on the lips?”

Iwaizumi pauses, really thinking about it. “I…” he’s about to say he doesn’t know, but he remembers. “It’s a thing from when I lived in the castle.”

“When you were the king’s lover?”

He hasn’t really told her about it, but he’s not surprised that she figured it out. He nods. “Oikawa wouldn’t ever kiss me on the lips and it took me until a month before I left to figure it out.”

“Was he actually seeing someone else?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “He wouldn’t do that. It was more… So remember how you thought I was a demon at first?” She nods. “Apparently I did have one possessing me and Oikawa could control it. Like if he kissed me once, the demon took over. Kiss me again and I’m back to myself.”

“Oh,” Hoshiko says in surprise. “How do you know he won’t try anything if you go back to the castle?”

Iwaizumi sighs. He doesn’t know, really. Irihata had told him that there isn’t much of a chance of Oikawa taking control over him again, but that means there’s still a slim chance. “I won’t let him.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Are you su-”

“Positive,” Hoshiko confirms, fire burning in her eyes, “You don’t need to face that alone.”

He smiles and kisses her - on the lips this time. “Thank you.”

\--

Iwaizumi tugs at the collar of his shirt. In order for them to get far enough into the castle to confront Oikawa, they need to speak to him as members of the church. Hoshiko finishes putting her cloak on and slaps his hands down.

“It’s stiff and uncomfortable, I know. Deal with it, though. It’s only for a bit, right?”

He nods, but his hand instinctively comes up to pull at the collar again. “Do you think anyone would try to stop me from entering the castle?”

Hoshiko pulls out a second cloak and drapes it over his shoulders, fastening the clasp and pulling the hood up. “They won’t know it’s you as long as the hood stays up. And your hands stay away from your collar.”

“Right,” he says, dropping his hands by his sides. His voice sounds different, which must be what Hoshiko had been talking about. She sits down in front of him and he automatically begins putting her hair up in the intricate style she needed for official business. He’s honestly a little proud of how far he’s come since he had first tried.

“You’re nervous,” Hoshiko murmurs. She turns around and smiles at him after the last bit of her hair is pinned in place. “We’ll be fine. It might not go great, but we’ll live through it. The odds that this will end in complete disaster are so low that they barely even register as part of the odds.”

Iwaizumi sighs. “I feel bad for asking you to come with me. You don’t deserve to get caught up in all of this.”

Hoshiko grabs one of his hands. “Neither do you, Hajime.”

It doesn’t take them long to get to the castle on horseback. Iwaizumi’s hands are trembling when they pass through the gates. The guards don’t stop him or do anything that would indicate they recognize him.

They have to abandon the horses, of course, while they’re inside and he would really like it if Hoshiko would hold his hand, honestly. A guard - he looks familiar, but Iwaizumi can’t figure out why - leads them through the castle to the doors of the throne room. Iwaizumi nearly blows his cover when he sees Hanamaki standing guard.

Hanamaki steps forward with a hand raised. “We were only aware of one person requesting an audience with the king. Will he be accompanying you?”

“He is new to the church and we are trying to teach him more about being involved with us. He will only be here to listen.”

Hanamaki stares at him for what seems like too long before speaking to the other guard. “Watari, will you check with Iwaizumi on this? I just want to be sure before letting them both in.”

Watari nods and leaves the three of them alone in the hall. “Sorry about this, it’s just always better to be completely certain than risk doing the wrong thing.”

“We don’t mind waiting,” Hoshiko answers smoothly. She’s much better at this than he is. 

He looks around the hall. Realistically, he realizes that nothing has changed. It’s much quieter than he remembers. The castle had always been bustling with activity. He had barely seen anyone other than Watari and Hanamaki so far.

“Where is everyone?” he asks quietly, turning to Hanamaki. “I thought there would be more people in the castle.”

“There are a lot of soldiers away for the war,” Hanamaki answers. He nods because any commoner would accept that as an explanation. In reality, Iwaizumi knows that’s not the case. Most of the soldiers wouldn’t be this close to the throne room anyway. He was talking more about the servants and guards. 

The door to the throne room opens and Iwaizumi is once again face to face with himself. He sees Hoshiko wrinkle her nose briefly and it must be from the demonic energy she can sense from the other version of himself.

“I apologize,” he starts and Iwaizumi can already tell he’s lying, “we will only allow those expected to have an audience.”

Hoshiko looks back at him. “That won’t be a problem.”

“The king isn’t available currently, however, so you would have to speak to me, is that alright?”

“Of course.”

“Hanamaki, would you escort our other guest to the room we have prepared?”

Hanamaki nods and bows to his other version. Hoshiko is led inside the throne room and the door shuts with what seems like far too much finality.

“Follow me.”

Iwaizumi waits until they’re in a side hallway before grabbing Hanamaki’s wrist. “What’s going on with the king?”

“I’m not authorized to tell you that,” Hanamaki answers instantly. Iwaizumi spins him around so they’re face to face and pushes his hood down. Hanamaki stares at him. “What? But you-”

“Where’s Oikawa?”

“Like you need to know,” Hanamaki scoffs. “You moved him again and didn’t tell me where, remember?”

“What? No, I’m- I’m not him,” Iwaizumi says, gesturing back the way they had come from. “It’s complicated, but we split into two people. Please, just help me find Oikawa. I’ll explain everything later.”

“I’m not going to show you where _you_ put Oikawa last. Listen if this is a test, just let me pass and move on. I don’t know where Oikawa is, so just leave me alone.”

“Takahiro, listen, please. After I left the castle, I split into two different parts. One of them came here, but I’ve been living at the Blue Church ever since. I need to talk to Oikawa. Please, please help me.”

Hanamaki stays silent for a few moments. “Fine. You probably know more secret passageways, so I’ll follow your lead, but he’s in the north tower on the top floor.”

Iwaizumi nods and takes the lead. “What’s happened since I left? Where’s Mattsun?” He hears Hanamaki’s steps falter behind him and Iwaizumi turns around to find him looking down at the ground. It’s not hard to infer what happened, knowing the nature of his other version. “Oh, I’m… sorry for bringing it up.”

Hanamaki shakes his head. “If you’re really you, you didn’t know. That was one of the first things he did when he got here. The staff are too afraid to use anything but passageways. No one wants to get in his way.”

“What happened to Oikawa?”

“You’ll see.”

The rest of their trek to the north tower is silent. There aren’t many secret passageways near it, but Iwaizumi does the best he can. He’s worried about Oikawa, as crazy as he knows that is.

Hanamaki puts his hands on one of the large doors. A glow spreads out, running through all of the cracks and grooves.

“Didn’t know you knew magic.”

The door clicks open. “I know enough,” he says as he pushes the door open. “I have to get back. The door will lock on its own if it closes.”

Iwaizumi nods and Hanamaki runs off. He takes a deep breath before entering the room. “Oikawa?” he calls softly, trying to make as little noise as possible. Moving farther into the room, he can finally see Oikawa. 

Iwaizumi doesn’t have words for the shock he feels looking at Oikawa. It’s been two years since he last saw Oikawa, but he still didn’t expect this much change. Oikawa is laying on the floor, curled up in a small patch of sunlight coming from the only window in the room, a small round one in the ceiling. Large, black, leathery wings extend out behind him. His hands are the same color, like Oikawa had dipped his hands into pure shadow. Horns grow from his forehead and Iwaizumi can see flecks of dried blood on them.

“Tooru,” he whispers, sinking to his knees next to him. Oikawa opens his eyes, but it looks like it’s a struggle.

“Iwa-chan?”

“What happened to you?” he asks. All of what he’d been prepared to say has been forgotten. It’s not Oikawa who’s doing this. It can’t be. He pulls Oikawa up into a sitting position, keeping him in the sun, and leans him back so he’s resting against Iwaizumi’s chest.

“I’m… I’m trying so hard, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers to him and Iwaizumi brings one hand up to stroke Oikawa’s hair. Oikawa lets out a short sob and Iwaizumi watches as the horns grow longer. “Why… why did you leave me with Hajime?”

“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi says, holding Oikawa as tightly as he can. He had thought that maybe after two years away from Oikawa he would have eventually fallen out of love. Apparently it’s true when people say distance makes the heart grow fonder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t bother to ask how Oikawa can tell the difference between himself and the other one. It doesn’t really matter all that much.

“I missed you, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi kisses the top of his head. “I missed you too.”

He stands, bringing Oikawa up with him. Oikawa can barely stand on his own two feet. “I… I can’t… all of my energy is for holding the demon back now.”

Iwaizumi slings Oikawa’s arm over his shoulders. “I’ll help you. There’s a balcony nearby where you can rest and gather some of your strength back.”

“If… if Hajime finds out, though, he’ll-”

“Let me worry about Hajime, alright?”

Oikawa nods and does his best to walk with Iwaizumi. He’s obviously weak, though and Iwaizumi’s carrying him for the most part. He sets Oikawa down on the balcony and takes off most of his robes so that more of his skin will show to the sun. He’s worryingly pale, though that may just be a result of the contrast between his arms, black all the way up to his elbows, and the rest of himself.

“I’ll be back soon, alright?” he says with a kiss to Oikawa’s forehead. Oikawa nods and Iwaizumi goes to find Hoshiko and the other version of himself.

As it turns out, he doesn’t need to go very far to find them.

“I don’t know where he is, let go of me!” he hears Hoshiko yell. Iwaizumi runs toward her, forgetting that he’s supposed to keep the hood of his cloak up. 

When he skids into the nearby hallway, he sees the other version of himself - Oikawa called him Hajime and that’s easier to call him than the other version - dragging Hoshiko forward by the wrist. He tries to run towards them, but he’s thrown back by Hajime’s magic. 

Hajime throws Hoshiko to the side and she hits the wall with a yelp before she falls to the ground, motionless. Iwaizumi can see her take a shaky breath and sighs with relief that she’s still alive.

“You should be dead,” Hajime growls. Iwaizumi pushes himself to his feet slowly. “I killed you, why aren’t you dead?”

“Why the fuck does everyone keep saying I died!” Iwaizumi yells. 

Hajime stalks up to him and jabs his chest with his hand. “I stabbed you right. Here.” He emphasizes the last two words by jabbing him again. “And then I stabbed you through your heart. You should be fucking dead by now.”

Iwaizumi pushes Hajime’s hand away. “No, I shouldn’t because I didn’t fucking die.” He takes a deep breath to calm himself. “That’s not the point. What have you been doing to Oikawa?”

“I’ve been keeping him safe. I’ve been doing what’s best for him. Can you say the same?” Hajime responds, voice scathing. “Where have you been? Hanging out in a _church_? I’m surprised you even can considering-”

“You think you’re doing anything to help Oikawa? You think this is what’s best for him?” Iwaizumi interrupts Hajime, raising his voice so that he can speak even if Hajime tries to continue talking. “You seriously fucking think this is good for him?”

“If he would stop resisting so much, he would see.”

“Resisting what? Being locked alone in a room all the time?

“It’s necessary-”

“It’s bullshit!”

“He’s resisting his true potential. He can be so much more than he is now,” Hajime says, voice almost growing distant, “if only he would stop trying to hold himself back so much.”

It finally clicks. Hajime wants Oikawa to give in to the demon. To let it fully take over and possess him. It makes sense, really. If Hajime’s taken the demonic part out of Iwaizumi, of course he would believe the demonic part of Oikawa is stronger. “You demon fuck,” he growls and he thinks he hears a slightly out of it giggle from Hoshiko. He lunges at Hajime, once more ignoring all plans for civil conversation, only for a far different reason this time.

Hajime doesn’t have much time to react, so they both go tumbling to the ground. Iwaizumi hits his head alarmingly hard, hard enough that his vision blurs a little. He doesn’t let that stop him, though. He pulls out a knife, but he doesn’t get a chance to attack Hajime. Hajime rolls them and Iwaizumi’s knife falls out of his hand.

“Get away from him,” Hoshiko says weakly - Iwaizumi knows she’d be yelling if she could. Hajime is knocked off of him by a blast of blue magic. He picks up his knife and holds it out towards Hoshiko. 

“Can you-?” He doesn’t even get the full question out before she’s extending the knife, turning it into an actual sword. “Thanks.”

Hajime appears unarmed when Iwaizumi turns around to face him, but he knows enough about his own fighting style to know that Hajime has some sort of trick up his sleeve. He also knows he won’t find out about it until he attacks. So he does. It isn’t his first time killing someone as himself. Border skirmishes and things had often turned fatal, but it is his first time in a one on one where he’s aiming to kill straight away.

He shouldn’t be this excited.

Just before his sword can make contact, Hajime blocks it with a knife. He instantly recognizes it as one of his favorites. The same one that had been on him when they split into two. Hajime smiles at him. “You’re too late to do anything.”

Iwaizumi ignores the taunt. He knows that he won’t be able to focus on fighting Hajime and winning if he does.

“You’re too late for Tooru and you’re too late for yourself.”

He grits his teeth and tries to disregard Hajime’s words. He knows he’s trying to distract him. 

“You’ve heard some of the truth, but I’m sure you don’t know how much I’ve figured out. I’ve found that those who study religion tend to… leave things out at their own convenience. If they can make you believe something, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.”

He doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t need to-

“Careful not to lose control, Iwa-chan,” Hajime teases. _That_ is enough, apparently, to throw Iwaizumi off guard long enough for Hajime to get the upper hand. He’s slammed roughly into the wall and Hajime squeezes his face with one of his hands, sharpening his nails into claws to dig in. “Wouldn’t want you to let your own demon take over, now would you?”

“I can’t let you take control if you’re not in me,” Iwaizumi growls back. Hajime laughs and he’s about to respond when he’s thrown off of Iwaizumi. He looks down at the floor where Hoshiko is, but she’s out cold again.

“Get away from Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi turns around and Oikawa is there. At the end of the hall. Leaning against the wall and looking dead on his feet.

“Oikawa? What are you doing here?” Hajime asks, voice turning sickeningly, fakely sweet. “Shouldn’t you be-”

“No. I should be here. I should’ve been here all along.”

“So you’re just going to side with him now?” Hajime asks, gesturing vaguely in Iwaizumi’s direction. “He left you.”

“That was better than what you did.”

“I did it for you! I was trying to make you stronger! We’re at war with Shiratorizawa and Nekoma so that we can expand our reach. You’re so close to reaching your full potential,” Hajime argues, forgetting about Iwaizumi. 

“I’m using nearly all of my strength to keep the demon back,” Oikawa counters.

“You don’t need to be. Let go. Let go and we can be together forever. He’s close to letting go and he doesn’t even know it.” Hajime apparently hasn’t forgotten about Iwaizumi because he points directly at him. “He hasn’t even been told everything and he stayed in the Blue Church for two years! He doesn’t know that just because I’ve left doesn’t mean he’s not possessed!”

Iwaizumi growls. He’s sick of listening to Hajime speak. He rushes towards him, sword in hand and once again swings with the intention to kill. Hajime doesn’t defend himself. He actually laughs as he watches Iwaizumi come for him. The laugh is cut off as Hajime’s head falls to the ground, followed by the rest of his body.

Oikawa cries out as though he’s in pain and Iwaizumi spins around. The shadows that had only come up to his elbows are now farther along. Iwaizumi can see some even creeping up Oikawa’s neck.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers as he falls to his knees. “Iwa-chan help me.”

“Oikawa!” He runs over to Oikawa and drops to his knees next to him. Oikawa’s breathing has sped up and he’s digging his claws into the floor.

“Please.” There are tears welling in Oikawa’s eyes. “Please, Iwa-chan. Before I lose control completely.”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. He knows what Oikawa’s asking of him. He knows he should have been actually prepared to do it. He wasn’t. He can’t just…

“Please, please kill me,” Oikawa sobs. “I don’t want… I can’t…”

He wants to be selfish. He doesn’t want to kill Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan, please. I can’t do this to the people. They deserve better than me. I couldn’t even… I was brought to my knees by one man.”

“I don’t know…” Iwaizumi starts and he knows that this is a bad thing to say. “I don’t know that I can… can live in a world without you.”

“You have to do it soon, please. I don’t have much time left. It won’t be me if the demon takes over, right?”

Iwaizumi bites his lip. Logically, he knows what Oikawa is saying is true. He knows that they can’t leave Oikawa to turn any more into a demon than he already is. It’s his duty as Oikawa’s personal guard to kill him. That doesn’t mean he wants to. Iwaizumi gets up and grabs the knife that Hajime had dropped before going back to Oikawa. “Here,” he says, handing the knife to Oikawa and uses a bit of his own magic to turn his sword back into a knife. He brings Oikawa’s hand up to his own chest. “We’ll do it at the same time, okay?”

Oikawa nods. “On the count of three?”

“On the count of three,” Iwaizumi agrees. “Promise you’ll do it?”

“I promise. You?”

“I promise. Ready? One.”

“Two.” Iwaizumi closes his eyes.

They say the last number together. “Three.”

Iwaizumi thrusts his hand forward. A promise is a promise. Only he doesn’t feel anything from Oikawa. He opens his eyes. “Oikawa? Oikawa please, you promised.”

Oikawa’s eyes flutter open for a second. “I love you Iwa-chan.”

“Oikawa? Oikawa no! Please! Please, Tooru, I love you.”

Tears fall from Iwaizumi’s face as he stares at Oikawa in shock. A promise is a promise. Iwaizumi should be dead by now. He looks down at Oikawa’s limp hand, knife resting softly in it. 

He looks back up at the knife in Oikawa’s chest. They’re the same knife.

Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s hand and curls the fingers over the handle of the knife before bringing it up to his own chest. 

“Hajime?” He’d forgotten about Hoshiko. “What are you doing?”

He turns to her, tears still streaming down his face. “I’m sorry… I can’t.”

He pulls Oikawa’s hand close, stabbing himself through the heart. He pulls Oikawa’s knife back out and watches the blood drip down his chest. And then stop. He puts a hand up to his chest and there isn’t a mark left.

“No,” he whispers, trying again. 

“No,” he says when it doesn’t work again.

“No!” he cries when he realizes that it won’t work at all.

“ _No_ ,” he snarls when Hoshiko tries to come close. He still has the knife in his hand and he lashes out with that. 

He runs, barely enough sense in him to realize that he actually likes her. He doesn’t want to hurt her. So he storms through the castle, only barely managing to avoid those close to him. Anyone else, however, isn’t so lucky. 

He’s never been good at combat magic, but he’s apparently acquired enough knowledge of it to kill nearly everyone that gets in his way. None of them fight back. Some of the guards try, but they’re no match for him. He feels more powerful than he’s ever been. When he gets back to his starting place, Hoshiko hasn’t moved.

“Hajime, your eyes,” she whispers, backing away from him as best she can while cradling her bleeding side. With her dying breath, she says, “They’re the blood red of a demon’s.”


End file.
